Reunited at The Altar
‘We’re at stalemate. And maybe we need some time apart to think.’
* * *
Time apart to think.
Brad had been here before. Five years ago. And that was where it had all unravelled. Time apart had turned into a divorce.
‘No.’
She frowned. ‘What do you mean, no?’
‘No, we don’t need time apart to think. We need time together to think.’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘You’re right—I do need to be in London. But I want to be here with you.’
‘You can’t be in two places at once. And you have responsibilities at work.’
‘Last time you said we needed time apart to think, I let you go—and it was the worst decision I ever made,’ he said. ‘I’m not making that mistake again.’
‘I’m not the one who’s going, this time.’
‘Fair point. And this isn’t an open-ended thing. Because I’ll be back tomorrow night. Whatever promises I have to make, whatever I have to do to make things work in the lab, I’ll be back for you tomorrow. We’ll both have had time to think about the baby and what we want. And we’re going to talk, Abby. I’m going back to London now, but this isn’t over. Not by a long way.’
He drove her back to her cottage. As he parked outside, he really wanted to kiss Abby and tell her he loved her and make a family with her, but he didn’t want to put any pressure on her. He wanted her to be with him because she wanted to be with him, not because she thought she had a duty to the baby.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he said.
She looked as if she didn’t quite believe him, and that hurt. Yes, he’d let her down in the past—but they were both older and wiser. Faced with that same situation, he knew they’d both do things differently now.
‘Have a safe journey,’ she said. ‘Text me when you get back.’
‘It’ll be late.’
‘That’s OK. Just text me.’
‘OK.’
For a moment, he thought she was going to reach over and kiss him. And then he’d tell her that he loved her and never wanted to let her go again.
But she didn’t.
She just looked bone-deep tired and miserable.
Which was pretty much how he felt, too, and he hated having to leave. Though he knew she was right. He had responsibilities and there were conversations he really needed to have at work. Because, even if Abby didn’t want to be with him any more, she was having his baby. And he wanted to be there for her and their child. He didn’t want to be the dad who turned up on the odd weekend and took the child to the playground and a fast-food place. He wanted to be part of their lives. Be there for every scan and antenatal class, the first day at nursery and the first day at school, all the nativity plays and sports days.
He waited until Abby was safely back inside the cottage before he drove back to London. And he thought about their situation all the way back.
She was right in that he didn’t want to teach in a secondary school. He’d miss his work in the lab so much. But if it was a choice between doing a job he didn’t love and being with the woman he loved, or doing the job he loved and being without Abby, then it would be an easy decision. He wanted to be with her and the job came second. He wanted a second chance with her and he wanted to see their child grow up. Most of all he wanted to make a proper family with Abby.
The way she saw it, either she had to give up her entire life and move to London to be with him, or he had to give everything up and move back to Norfolk.
But surely there had to be a middle way, where they could both get what they wanted?
He thought about it some more.
The previous summer, a headhunter had called him and offered him a job up in Manchester. He’d considered it seriously and had almost accepted, but in the end he’d talked to his boss and negotiated more responsibility in his job.
Maybe he could talk to the headhunter to see if anything was available nearer to Great Crowmell than London. Maybe Cambridge; it would still be two hours away from Great Crowmell, but that was better than three hours. More doable.
The next morning, he was in the lab early, but before he left the house he’d already bought flowers online to be delivered to Abby at breakfast time, along with the message See you tonight. B. Again, he’d been close to writing I love you, but he didn’t want to pressure her. Just let her know that he wasn’t going to let her down.