Voyeur

I pushed all the way in and lifted my thumb to brush against her clit, making her hips pop off the bed. She was so warm. So wet. I watched my digit roll across the swollen rosy flesh and pictured myself pulling the toy out and pushing myself deep inside her. My cock jumped at the thought tapping her thigh. However, no matter how she made me want, the panic still hid inside me, lingering less, but still there.

“Please,” she begged me.

I removed the toy and lifted her to stand. Her body trembling before me, I unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the floor. Then I stepped into her, pinning my cock between our stomachs. I groaned at the contact and she lifted her hands to my shoulders holding herself to me as she rested her head on my chest.

I fought impossibly hard to control my breathing, my skin prickling as a dizziness swarmed my head. Her skin against my length was the closest I’d been to fucking a woman and wanting to.

But I couldn’t. The warmth and pressure surged behind my closed lids and I had to pull back before it triggered something other than excitement. Pinching my eyes shut, I pushed the memories down, not ready to stop.

I turned her around to face the bed, too quickly for her to look at my face. I flicked my fingers against the clasp at the back of her top and watched as it fell to the floor. She stood before me completely naked, completely on display. Leaning down I bit her shoulder and stared at her breasts from over her shoulder that I’d seen so often before. My palms engulfed them as I held them gently, letting my thumbs roll across the tip. She gasped and jerked, her butt pressing against my dick, and I pushed her to bend over the bed. My fingers trailed down her back, across the crack of her ass and played at her wet opening before shoving inside.

I needed to feel her. I needed to be as close as I could to her heat. I couldn’t handle it on my cock yet, the memories still clinging, but I could still feel her.

“Dr. Pierce,” she moaned.

“Cal.” Pressing against her, pinning my hand, I bent over and kissed up her spine to her neck and whispered. “Call me Callum or Cal while I’m inside you.”

And she came. Her legs trembled as my fingers worked in and out of her and my thumb rolled over her clit. We both moaned when her tight cunt clenched tight around me as she rocked her hips back, fucking herself on my hand. The sounds mixed together like music to my ears as her cum slid down my fingers.

It wasn’t until that moment that I realized I was rocking my own hips against her soft skin. Dry humping her like a teenager as I buried my fingers deep inside her, wringing her orgasm from her body.

I almost laughed at how euphoric something so juvenile could feel. A twenty-nine-year-old man, giddy over being able to dry hump a thigh. Skin-to-skin. Not breaking out in a sweat. Not having any tremors. Not having my heart beat out of my chest in panic as the past crept in. The breath whooshed out of my lungs under the emotional weight of feeling my dick press to her soft skin, amazed and awed by the feel of it.

She collapsed onto the mattress when I removed my hand and turned her head to look at me. Could she see the excitement, the desire, the heat boiling inside me? I wanted her to see it all. I wanted her to know how much I honored the gift she was giving me. I held her eyes as I licked every ounce of her cum off my fingers.

“Callum.” It was the first time she’d said my name and it shot through me, straight to my balls and I had to come. I almost felt bad taking advantage of the freedom of not being shackled by my demons, but I couldn’t find it in me.

I wiped my palm over her pussy to gather her juices and fisted myself. Hard and fast, I jerked my cock against her ass, holding her eyes and letting her see my desire, focusing on her to keep me in the moment. Her golden eyes locked on mine, her full lips parted and panting. She was my anchor as fire licked down my skin pulling my orgasm from me. I shot long ropes of white cum all across her ass as she arched up accepting it all. My whole body clenched as my orgasm tore through me. All the more intense with a woman—this woman—in front of me.

I had never touched myself—bared myself in front of a woman before and the significant moment washed over me. I collapsed on top of her, pressing grateful kisses across her shoulders, fighting back tears. I’d never been this way with a woman. I’d never been able to.