Voyeur

Maybe I’d take the step and go to the wedding. If I kept making improvements, maybe it wouldn’t seem like such a mountain to climb. And if I had Oaklyn by my side, I could conquer the world.

My phone buzzed, and my eyes shot open to see who it was.

O: Want to see me tonight?

I barked out a laugh and immediately responded. My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard, happy to hear from her so soon. I sent a quick message back, inviting her over, into my space, promising dinner and then got to work.

“This is delicious,” Oaklyn said around a bite of pasta.

She had been tense when I opened the door, but I’d pulled her into my arms and whispered my apologies up and down her neck until she’d laughed and demanded I put her down. Just like that, she smiled up at me with her golden eyes and no lingering hurt or questions. Looking just as excited to see me as I was to have her there.

“Thank you. I slaved over it all afternoon.”

She raised an eyebrow and smirked at me. “And do you always serve your freshly made meals in aluminum containers with Lucia’s Italian Kitchen on them?”

“All the time,” I answered with a straight face, before finally laughing. “What can I say, I’m not the greatest cook, and it’s just me. No need to be good at making elaborate dinners.”

“Callum, this is spaghetti. It may not be the elaborate meal you think it is.”

“Hey, there’s some asparagus.”

“Okay,” she agreed laughing. “It’s just disappointing to see such a large beautiful kitchen go to waste.”

“Yeah, the house is a lot.”

“Why did you buy a house this huge just for you?”

I looked down, watching the tines of my fork twirl the noodles, avoiding looking at her. “I’d hoped it wouldn’t always be just for me. I wanted—want—a family. I’m just not sure it’s possible for me. I thought maybe if I bought the house, I’d feel more pressure to get over everything and start one.”

She didn’t say anything for so long that I looked up cautiously. Her chin rested in her palm as she studied me.

“I think you’ll make a great dad.”

“What?” I barely breathed the word. It wasn’t what I thought she would say. I figured she’d make a comment about how I would never fill this house if I didn’t start filling a woman. But this was Oaklyn. She never judged me, she never made a snarky comment diminishing my issues.

“You’re so passionate in class, how could you not be passionate about everything else? I bet you’d take the kids to a planetarium and force astronomy on them.” She smiled. “Probably have them reciting constellations before their ABCs.”

A lump at the base of my throat threatened to choke me. I smiled with her, imagining the picture she described.

“But it will totally play in your favor when you make your wife fall in love with you by taking her stargazing. A romantic nighttime picnic.”

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and saw it. Saw myself curled up with a woman with light brown hair and golden eyes. I saw myself making love to her under the stars. Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I somehow managed to speak. “What about you? What does your future look like?”

“A stable family. A home we feel secure in. One that I can provide because I have my degree and make a shit-ton of money.”

“A shit-ton? Is that more or less than a fuck-ton of money?”

“Less. I don’t want to be greedy. Especially since I want more. I want a house full of kids. I mean not an army, but definitely more than three. I hated being an only child.”

“Did your parents not dote on you since you were the only one?”

“They did. They tried to be the best they could. They just worked a lot. We seemed to always just be on the edge of making it. So, I was alone as they worked two jobs each. I would have loved to have a sibling to share that time with.”

“Well, I think you’ll make your dreams come true. You’re too determined to not have them happen.”

“True,” she agreed with a hard nod. “Now, let’s clean these dishes up and go make-out on your over-sized couch.”

“We could always just toss them in the sink.”

She cocked an eyebrow at me. “I want your full attention, and if we leave a mess, you won’t be able to focus. I know you, Callum.”

In awe of how well she did know me, I sat as she grabbed both plates and took them to the sink. She followed behind me with the cups and grabbed a towel as I started washing. Her hips swayed to the music I had playing in the background and I was about to say fuck all these damn dishes and attack her. Instead, I settled on flicking soapy water at her.