Voyeur

Once she’d come down from her orgasm, I kissed my way back up her body and bit at the sensitive tip of her breast. She gasped and pushed her nails down my back.

Bile rose up my throat as I remembered a deeper groan and harder fingers dragging down my skin. I jerked back and moved to the other side of the couch, burying my head in my hands. I couldn’t look at her as I tried to catch my breath, tried to wipe the memory from my mind.

“Callum?” she said, but I shook my head. “Callum, it’s okay.”

It wasn’t fucking okay. I had just had a fantastic moment of burying my head between her thighs. A moment of feeling success completely gone by a moment of remembering. I heard her moving around and pulling her pants back on, and a part of me tried to prepare myself for her to leave.

But then her legs appeared in front of me on the ground as she sat cross-legged. She didn’t touch me, but rested open palms on her knees, facing up. There if I needed her.

“Did you know all the girls in class practically drool when you turn to write on the board? I can’t blame them. Your ass is especially nice.”

Confused by her change in topic, I jerked my head up and found her with a neutral expression. Her eyes were kind and lacking all the empathy I expected to see there. She looked like she did when we talked over lunch. Minus a shirt.

“I didn’t realize that.” I knew girls whispered about how I looked but didn’t realize they stared at my ass during class.

And then it hit me. I was done fighting back the memory because my mind had moved on to her question. She’d perfectly distracted me. Dropping my hand, I linked my fingers with her open palm.

“I’m sorry, Oaklyn.” Even if we moved on, I still wanted to apologize for continually jerking back.

Her fingers squeezed mine and she said, “It’s okay, Callum. You don’t need to apologize to me. Whenever you’re ready, just let me know what bothered you, so I know not to do it again.”

“The nails down my back,” I muttered.

Her expression didn’t change, didn’t shift like she felt sad as she imagined what I’d gone through. She remained neutral and gave me a nod.

“Do you want to stay in my guest room tonight?” I asked quickly, hearing how lame it sounded as soon as it came out. My guest room? “I know it’s weird, I just want you here, and well . . .”

“I’d love to,” she said with a wide smile. “I want to be here, too.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and held my hand out for her. “First, lay with me a while. I’m not ready to leave this couch just yet.”

Taking her hand, I pulled her up toward me and had her face me. Smiling at how beautiful she was, I brushed her hair back before leaning in to kiss her.

“I can’t get enough of your lips.”

“Good,” she said, snagging another kiss.

“You want to watch a movie?”

She nodded, and I grabbed the remote and scrolled through the on-demand movies. We agreed on a rom-com, and then I pulled her back to my front, loving the feel of her skin pressed to mine. Throughout the movie, her fingers would trail up and down my hand or lace together with my own as she tugged it close to her chest.

I would breathe in her hair, loving the way it tickled my nose. If I could make her a part of me, I would.

By the time the movie was over, she was already passed out. I slipped out from behind her and then picked her up from the couch, her body curling into me as I carried her up the stairs to the guest room. Once I had her settled, on a whim, I decided to lay down with her. She, again, curled her body into mine as soon as I settled next to hers and I wrapped her in my arms. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, especially since I knew nights were rough when flashbacks happened during the day.

“Fuck, Cal. How can this be wrong when it feels so good? It feels good, doesn’t it?”

“No!” I shouted, jerking up in bed. The air chilled my sweat-slicked skin. I jerked again when a hand landed on my arm.

“Hey,” Oaklyn’s soft voice reached me in the dark. “It’s okay. It’s just me.”

“Fuck,” I whispered past my panting. “I’m sorry.” My body began to tremble as I came down from the rush of adrenaline. “I’m so sorry, Oak.”

Her fingers slowly linked to mine, giving me a chance to pull away. The bed shifted as she scooted closer. On instinct, I leaned into her, allowing her to fall back and take me with her. I stretched my arm, letting the long strands of her hair drape over my fingers and rested my head on her chest. Her hair always seemed to be my anchor to reality. When we fooled around, my hand found its way into the strands, holding them tight as she wrapped her lips around my cock. As she kissed me and stroked her hand up and down my cock. I always held tight.