Voyeur

“God, Dad. Yes.” I breathed out a laugh. “But just starting her life.” My parents sat there, giving me time to think, knowing there was more. I thought about what I wanted to say without giving anything away. “I’m possessive of her—jealous in a way I’ve never felt before, and when my jealousy sparks, I lose my mind. There’s no rational thought. There’s no reasoning. I lose myself in my mind and my issues and I lose my temper. I’d lose it on her. Say things. Mean things and I hated it.” It hurt even more to say out loud. “She’s too young to take on my issues.”

“Callum,” my mom said, admonishing me. “A woman can make her own decisions. A woman can walk away when she needs to.”

“But what would I have to do for her to make that decision? How far would I fall?” My mom frowned and reached across the space to grip my hand. Just her holding my hand comforted me. “That’s why I’m here. I can’t keep letting my past rule me. I can’t keep hiding and hoping that ignoring it will make it better. I’m tired of it, Mom.”

She swiped at a tear that managed to escape. I knew she still held so much guilt over what had happened, and I didn’t want my inability to let go keep holding everyone else back. I needed to face it. Deal with it.

“I was hoping Dr. Edgemore would be able to see me this week,” I said, referencing the therapist I saw before I left California.

“I’ll make sure he does,” my dad confirmed.

“How long are you staying?”

“Two weeks. I have a week of vacation saved up and then next week is Spring Break.”

“Two whole weeks.” My mom clapped her hands in excitement. “I can’t wait. Plenty of time for you to tell me about this girl.”

I smiled, just thinking about Oaklyn. “She’s great. Beautiful, smart, determined, funny. She’s so much of everything, I can’t even narrow down the adjectives.”

“She sounds lovely. I can’t wait to meet her. Maybe we can visit and all go out to dinner.”

At that, I looked away wincing. I’d run out of time on keeping the biggest complication a secret.

“What? Are you embarrassed by us?” my mom asked, joking.

“No. We uh—we can’t exactly date.”

She cocked an eyebrow and stared, trying to consider all the reasons. “Is she married?”

“No. Jesus, Mom.”

“Well, what is it?”

My heart raced in my chest making me light headed. “Um, she’s uh—my student.”

Her eyes shot wide, and she gasped, “Callum Pierce.”

“I know. I know, Mom. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t know, and I fought it. God did I fight it, but she’s just so much. And with her, for the first time ever, I saw a future. I saw her with me in a future and I couldn’t fight it anymore.”

Her shocked look softened to sympathy, and I knew it would be okay. She understood, and at the root of it all, if it was legal and consensual, my parents wanted me safe and happy.

“It’s not like you weren’t my intern when we first met,” my dad muttered to my mom. “We had to keep our . . . Activities secret too.”

She blushed, and I cringed. “Ew, Dad.”

He leaned over and kissed my mom on the cheek.

That was the love I wanted—the future I wanted.

There was no way I was getting to it in the state I was in right now. If I ever wanted my dream of Oaklyn and I working out later, I needed to be a better man.

Remembering her in Jackson’s arms, my shoulders slumped, and I wondered if I was too late.

But it didn’t matter. I’d fight for her if I had to.

First, it was time to face everything and be a better man.

I was ready.

32

Oaklyn

Two weeks.

I hadn’t seen him in two weeks.

I thought I missed him before, but nothing compared to when he’d disappeared. We’d had a sub for some classes and mostly emails and notes for the others he missed. I tried to subtly asked Donna where he was, but she’s simply said vacation. I wanted to demand where and why. Instead I gave a simple nod and walked away.

I could have messaged him, and I must have typed up at least a thousand texts, but never sent them. I was sure he was okay. He had too many people caring about him to not be okay.

But tonight, all my concerns would be answered. I’d be able to see for myself if he was okay. It was the night he was going to help me with the telescope for the class project. I’d begun looking up other plans because I didn’t know if Callum would be back or if he’d even want to assist me anymore. Maybe he’d pawn me off to another teacher.