Unintended

Tilting my head, I said, “You could have just sent a text.”

“I know. But I also know this is going to be hard for you, so I wanted to say it in person.”

Am I too old to swoon?

Since Keely had offered her opinion on Ash’s feelings towards me, and mine towards him, I’d thought about it a lot.

She wasn’t wrong. At least, not about me. What had started off as a friendship had turned into a best friendship, and then an attraction. Ash McKay was the kindest man I’d ever met. He made me laugh on the days when I didn’t think I could, and he was always there for me. I felt more and more for him every time I saw him, but that didn’t change the facts.

And those facts were that he needed someone with a lot less crazy in their life, and I needed to focus on taking care of myself. Being pregnant was taking a lot out of me, especially emotionally, although the sickness wasn’t helping either. Every morning, I woke up afraid

that that would be the day disaster struck, and every morning, I had to give myself a pep talk. I’d started to talk to my babies when I woke up, and before I went to bed, and that had helped with the bonding, but I was still always on edge. I couldn’t bring that much stress into his life.

Looking at him, though, standing in front of me, seeming a bit nervous, but still making the effort on what he knew would be a difficult day, I couldn’t help wishing things were different.

I still didn’t regret what happened on New Year’s Eve with Jay. I did wish things were less complicated though.

“Thank you,” I said, giving him a small smile. “I appreciate it. Especially when you should be asleep.”

He shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep last night.”

“Everything okay?”

When he only shrugged again, I took a small step closer to him. “Ash, what’s going on?”

I swear I saw his arm move, like he was going to reach out for me, but it was only the slightest movement and I could have been wrong. Something was definitely bothering him though.

“I’m just worried about you,” he said after a while. “It’s a long drive and I know talking to Jay will be hard for you.”

The look on his face seemed like more than worry, but I couldn’t work out what else it might be. Either way, the fact that he was so concerned made me step into him and give him a hug.

“I’ll be okay,” I told him as his arms circled around my back. Like I’d done so many times when he hugged me, I rested my head against his chest and breathed him in. He smelled like last night’s deodorant, and laundry detergent. Even though he hadn’t showered yet, he still smelled clean and familiar. “If you want, I can call you later. When it’s all over.”

“That would be good. But also, text me when you get there so I know you’re safe.”

I closed my eyes, taking another deep inhale of him. “I will. I promise.” To shift the conversation, I said, “What are you doing today?”

“Mostly, trying to sleep,” he replied as I stepped away from him. “I’m not working tonight, so I’ll probably stay home.”

He’d made some friends at work, and he’d even been out once with some of them, but he still mostly preferred to stay in. I was glad he was getting out more. Before, especially when he was staying with me, he never went anywhere, hardly even into town on his own. He’d come a long way, but I had the feeling he was staying in purposely to be around for me, and he didn’t need to do that.

But I couldn’t say so in case I was wrong and sounded arrogant.

“Well,” I said, “try not to waste the day, okay? Go do something fun. Pretty sure Nick’s home today so you could always go over there for a while.”

He nodded, his first real smile crossing his face. “Yeah, maybe I will later. As long as I won’t be in the way of family time.”

“You won’t. Keely’s taking the kids to a birthday party, so you should be fine.”

“Okay. I’ll text him later.”

As I looked up at him, I wished I didn’t have to go. I wished I could spend some time with him and not have to face Jay. Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option.

I had to go.

As if he’d heard my thought, Ash said, “Go. Drive carefully.”

I smiled. “I will.”