Unintended

I smiled in spite of myself. “That will never change.”

Jay turned the car onto my road, and I tensed a little, as if Natalie might be lurking in the bushes. I actually craned my neck to see if she was hiding somewhere before remembering she was safely locked away, where she belonged. The memory of her bursting through my front door was one I wouldn’t be able to erase for a long time, but it helped knowing she wasn’t going to be able to do it again.

“You ready to go in?” Jay asked when he’d parked, and I nodded.

“Yeah. I’m ready. Let’s go get a cup of tea and eat all the biscuits.”

“Chocolate Digestives?”

I looked over at him. “Yeah. And those all-butter cookie things I save for special occasions.”

He smiled. “Perfect. Come on then.”

We unclipped our seatbelts and got out of the car, Jay taking my bag for me while I found my key. We ran through the rain to the front door and I opened it, hesitating for a second as I looked at the place on the carpet where Ash had found me the day before. Seemed like years ago, and I told myself not to cry again. I’d done so much of that I was surprised I hadn’t wrinkled up from lack of moisture.

“Are you okay?” Jay asked.

“Yeah.” I shook some raindrops from my hair, and he did the same before putting my bag down and shrugging out of his wet jacket. “Let’s go and get that drink.”

Just as I finished speaking, I heard a clicking noise that sounded like it came from the kitchen and I looked at Jay, my heart thudding against my chest.

“It’s okay,” Jay said calmly. “It’s probably just the rain dripping onto something outside.”

Figuring he was probably right—it was absolutely hammering down—I nodded. “I should change my clothes.” I was only a little bit wet since the path to my house wasn’t that long and Jay had parked right outside, but I wanted to get into my favourite lazy clothes; leggings and a big jumper. If I was going to be sad, I at least wanted to do so in comfort.

“Okay,” Jay said. “I’ll go and put the kettle on.”

“Thanks.”

As Jay went into the living room, I picked up my bag and took it upstairs to my room, dropping it onto the bed. I’d deal with it later. I went into the bathroom to grab a towel for my hair and started to rub it dry as I went to my wardrobe. I pulled out my favourite oversized jumper; the one I’d worn when I was in Exeter. Tears burned the backs of my eyes as memories flashed through my mind, but I quickly pulled off the top I was wearing and exchanged it for the jumper. Wrapping my arms around myself, I took a deep breath.

“Get yourself together,” I said out loud.

And I knew I had to.

With a sigh, I was about to reach back into my wardrobe for some leggings when something caught my eye out of my bedroom window.

There were some coloured fairy lights wrapped around my washing line, and I could see that a puddle had formed underneath, the lights reflecting off it and creating a beautiful pattern of sparkles.

With narrowed eyes, I took a few steps towards my window, and I saw the top of a bright golf umbrella, each panel a different colour.

Like my tattoo.

And the lights on the puddle. A mini-recreation of the River Exe in my own garden.

Leaning forward a little, I finally saw him.

As if he’d felt my eyes on him, he tilted the umbrella back a little, rain pouring off the back, and looked up at me. All I could see in his eyes was pain, and I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to swallow down some of the emotion that was battling to escape me.

He was getting soaked, even with the umbrella. I could see the water clinging to the bottom of his jeans and starting to seep into the long-sleeved t-shirt he was wearing too.

Forgetting all about getting changed, I dashed away from the window, down the stairs, through the living room to the kitchen, halting when I remembered Jay was there. He was putting teabags into three mugs, as if nothing was going on at all, but there was a slight smirk on his face.

“You did this?” I asked, tucking my hands inside the sleeves of my jumper as I stared at him.

He shrugged. “Maybe.” He flicked the switch on the kettle and turned to me as I widened my eyes, waiting for an answer. “Yes. I did this.”

I wanted to throw myself at him and hug him, thanking him, but I needed to see Ash more, and Jay laughed and nodded his head in the direction of the garden, telling me to go.