Chasing Love (Dark Love 1)

As the cab drives through the streets, I gaze out the window unable to count the number of times I’ve been to Manhattan in the past nine years. To think, all along, she was here. After Bryce told me about her house in Connecticut, it didn’t make sense. But then she said she stayed with her grandmother, so I’m assuming she inherited it.

Life has changed for both of us. Who would’ve thought nine years ago we’d both wind up here? I’m still coming to terms with her graduating from Yale and opening her own law practice. I’m proud of everything she has accomplished but, of course, I can’t tell her that—she never wants to talk about anything, always shutting me down if I get too close. The rare moments when she will open up, I soak up everything she gives me, but then she realizes what she has done and puts up that wall again.

I pay the driver, climb out, staring at the building in front of me. My email keeps pinging, knowing the aftermath of not attending today’s meeting will be an absolute nightmare.

As I walk into the lobby, I head straight to the elevators. Pulling my phone out of my shirt pocket, I open the text sent two minutes ago. I read her words, my blood boiling as they sink in, dragging their sharp edges along my skin.

Jealousy and rage are what got me here in the first place, but I want nothing more than to rip him into pieces and purge him from her mind and heart. She’s my fucking girl! And I’m the idiot who listens to everyone else instead of following my instincts.

I ride the elevator up to her floor, my stare fixated on the doors. The elevator pings open, and the glass doors with Mason & Romano written on them are in front of me. As I walk toward them, Eric is shutting the door behind him.

“Lex! What are you doing here?”

“Is Charlotte here?” My tone is stiff, warning Eric of my intentions.

“She’s still in her office.” He lets me in, but before closing the door entirely, he says, “And she’s alone.”

There’s a faint light coming from the double doors where Eric has pointed. With every step I take, the anger swirls inside me, my hands automatically curl into fists itching to swing out and punch the wall after what she said in her text message.

Beside the window, she’s standing quietly, lost in thought. Is she thinking about me? Her expression is pained, my anger suddenly turning to compassion. I’m tired of living without her, and she needs to know that.

Seconds pass, yet I stand still watching her, the expressions she makes, the breaths she takes.

It’s now or never.

“Are we done, Charlotte?”

CHARLIE

I finally give in, expressing my emotions in an explosive text.

Me: Stop treating me like I am yours! Do you think it was fair that I had to share you with Samantha? Do you think it was fair that I had to find out through the town whore that the one person who had my heart and soul knocked up his wife when he promised me he was no longer fucking her? You have no idea what it feels like to be abandoned by the only person who you trusted your life with, the only person who was your entire world, then not to even be given the chance to say goodbye. Yes, I love Julian, and yes, I’ll continue to see him. Maybe now you’ll understand what it’s like. What happened the other night was a mistake. Huge mistake. It’s over, Lex. We’re so over.

I sent the text, my heart beating furiously in my chest. Although I’m angry at him, I am angrier at myself for allowing this to happen in the first place. Did I really think having a make-out session would erase the past or give me closure? The scars are still ingrained in me, and no matter how hard I try to erase them, they’ll forever remain a part of me.

Staring out the window, the darkness is setting in. The streets are still lined with people, the city never shuts down despite the time of day.

So, I made a mistake, a big one.

I sigh out loud, this feeling of hurt, there’s no point denying it. I know I made the right decision by telling him to leave me alone, but I need closure, right? Fuck, Charlie, honestly, what the hell is wrong with you?

“Are we done, Charlotte?”

The voice behind me is just an illusion. Don’t do this again, Charlie, ache for someone who’ll never be who you need them to be.

“Tell me we’re done.”

I dare not move nor release a single breath. My limbs become completely frozen on the spot. Inside my chest, my heart is pounding louder and louder, the noise becoming increasingly unbearable.

Deep, heavy breathing sounds behind me, as the hairs on my arms stand at attention while chills run down my spine. Slowly, I turn my head, my eyes meeting his across the room.

With every step he takes closer to me, the temperature in the room becomes stifling hot causing my breathing to pick up at an uneven pace.

He stops just shy of where I stand, close enough for me to smell him.

Don’t Charlie.

Reaching out, he runs his finger along my collarbone, my body tensing at his touch.