Chasing Us (Dark Love 2)

She didn’t ask why nor attack me with questions.

If anyone knew me better than I knew myself, it was my sister.

And with her by my side, I knew I’d find Charlotte… again.

CHARLIE

Present

They say if you love someone, you’re supposed to set them free. What if it’s the other way around? They set you free. Am I supposed to fly back? Or am I supposed to leave it up to fate? There’s a high chance fate isn’t on my side, my wings having been clipped, and without them I can’t soar.

This was me after Lex told me he was done.

The storm set in that night at the restaurant where I broke the heart of the one guy who actually loved me enough to want to be with me despite what I’d put him through. But it wasn’t fair, life wasn’t fair. Why didn’t I love Julian the same way I loved Lex? Life would have been easy then. Okay, so it wasn’t the love that set me on fire, but he was safe and solid. No past, no memories.

Yet he deserves better than me, better than this rollercoaster I put him through. I did to him just what Lex had done to me all those years ago. How can I cause so much pain when I know firsthand how much it hurts to be treated like that?

It starts to rain, but I walk at a normal pace, the people around me scurrying for cover and looking at me like I belong on another planet, but I don’t care. It all feels so insignificant now. The cold rain is drenching my barely-covered body as the fabric of my dress clings to my skin, and I shiver uncontrollably.

As I enter my apartment, I make my way to the bathroom ignoring Coco purring by the door. Turning the bath on, I let the hot water steam up the room. I wipe the mirror with my hand to look at my face. My mascara is smeared under my eyes, my lipstick is long gone, and my hair is a wild, tangled mess. I strip out of my clothes and climb into the hot bath, a small slice of heaven in a fucked- up situation.

Sinking further, I let it sp

read over my body. The warmth provides me with security for a short time, but then the water slowly becomes cold, and the reality hits me just as hard. After a solid hour, I climb out and make my way to the bedroom. Putting my pajamas on, I tuck myself in, willing myself to close my eyes.

It’s the first night I have cried myself to sleep since the morning I left The Hamptons.

The next day, I do everything possible to keep myself busy. I go for a run, but without Kate, it isn’t the same. I do my laundry and grocery shopping even though I have zero appetite. I clean my entire apartment and then watch three movies back to back hoping for some comic relief. It’s only six in the evening, but I decide to go to Adriana’s early for the final fitting for my dress she keeps nagging me about. It isn’t until about an hour ago when I realize I promised Will we’d watch the meteor shower together on his rooftop at eight.

I welcome the drive to Brooklyn, deciding to take my bike out. As I drive onto her street, I park the bike, pulling my helmet off. Okay, Brooklyn isn’t my favorite place to leave the bike, but I made friends with the guys down the road last time I was here, and they told me they had my back. Well, so far, they did anyway.

I make my way up to her apartment and knock on the door. Elijah answers, but when he sees me, his face appears panicked. I can’t blame him, I know I look like fucking shit. There are just some things that makeup can’t cover.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, looking back into the living room.

“Fitting. Apparently, I’ve lost weight, and Bridezilla says I need to fatten up to fit back in the dress.”

“Oh, right, the fitting. Wasn’t that supposed to be after eight?” Again, he turns around, the sweat beads forming on his forehead.

“Uh, yeah, but I have to see Will tonight, so I was hoping to get this done early. Elijah, are you okay? Did I catch you in the middle of something?”

Oh My God! Was Elijah having an affair, hence the panic? I seriously need to stop watching The Bold and the Beautiful.

“Just hang on a sec, Charlie…” He scurries out of the room leaving me to wait confused by his odd behavior. It isn’t long before I hear the familiar voice. Panicking, my body freezes. I’m unable to move, unable to run away like I so desperately want to.

Fuck! It’s him.

I don’t want to be here, but it’s too late. His voice gets closer and closer. Turning the corner, our eyes meet for the briefest of seconds. His stare freezes over like winter’s ice, robbing me of the warmth which spreads throughout me each time our gaze meets.

Adriana panics as well, asking me why I’m early. I explain my plans for tonight, and in a flash, he says goodbye to them, ignoring me, and walks out the door.

He looks amazingly beautiful.

And I miss him so much.

My stomach is in knots when I realize how easy it is for him to ignore me. He’s truly done, and that inkling, the little ray of hope, walks out the door with him. I’m left standing here, mustering any bit of dignity I have left.

“Char… c’mon, let’s have coffee before the fitting,” Adriana offers.