Into the Light

“In my office. Now,” I demanded.

He walked into my office, pacing up and down, not pausing for a second. His appearance took me aback. His hair was even messier than it normally was, his tie crooked (making it look like a five-year-old had dressed him) and his face covered in hair. Yes, an overgrown beard, a tell-tale sign of a man’s sorrows.

I pulled Emma aside for a moment “You make sure the office is back to normal. I don’t want anyone mentioning this to Charlie. Warn everyone out there that anyone caught discussing this will have to answer to me. You find out where she is and if you need Eric’s help make sure she does not come into the office. You understand?” She nodded and scurried out of the room, closing the door behind her.

I was over this bullshit. Charlie had gone AWOL and here was a devastated man, a side to him I never thought I’d see.

“I don’t know where she is,” I said. “She won’t talk to me right now. I told you not to smother her.”

“Do you honestly expect me to sit here and do nothing? Let her believe all the fucking lies? I flew back in because I needed to see her. I will not leave till I speak to her.” He bowed his head, trying to gain some sort of composure. “I never wanted to leave her, Nikki. I always loved her. She doesn’t understand how much pressure I was under back then. We were both so young.”

I sighed. They had history, a lot of it, and Charlie only gave me dribs and drabs of information whenever she felt like it. I was curious as to what really happened so I asked even though I knew that by asking him to reveal a personal part of his life, I was dragging myself into this mess even more. “What exactly happened, Lex?”

He stood up and walked over to the window. He gazed out, watching the city beneath him. Moments later a very vulnerable Lex told his story.

“It was exactly two weeks after prom. The night I told her that I would find a way for us to finally be together, whatever it took.”

June 2005

“Alex, finally you’re home,” she angrily greeted me at the door.

I looked at my watch. Oh shit, it was after seven. I told her I would be home for dinner. This had become a reoccurrence lately and I knew I had to start being more careful. Just until I told her it was over. Soon, I kept telling myself. Soon.

“Sorry, I got caught up at the hospital with Dad,” I lied.

“Well you are here now I guess, I have some news to tell you.” Her face lit up. I knew this couldn’t be good, I just didn’t know how much it would impact my life. “Come sit down.”

She patted the couch where I reluctantly took a seat next to her. She continued to smile, something I hadn’t seen in a while. She was a beautiful woman. Her long strawberry blonde hair flowed down her back, her blue eyes sparkling as she spoke. I remembered a time when I couldn’t get enough of her. But that was before…

“Alex, I’m pregnant.”

My ears did a double take. She was what? My brain couldn’t register and I blurted out the first words that came to mind. “How did this happen? I haven’t fucked you in three months!” I yelled.

Her demeanor changed. The smile that had lit up her face only moments ago disappeared. Her face turned red, the veins on her forehead looked like they were ready to burst. She folded her arms, her chest rising up and down at a fast pace. I braced myself knowing that the storm was about to hit and I was standing in its path.

“That’s nice, Alex, that you can’t even remember fucking your wife!” she shot back. “Well it was that night you came home drunk a month ago, I remember it because you couldn’t get enough of me, fucking me for hours telling me how much you loved me.” Lost in thought, she paused, the smirk of satisfaction subsiding as if she realized the enormity of this situation.

I remembered the night; it was the night Charlotte and I were doing tequila shots behind the bleachers at school. She had dared me to take shots from her belly but I thought it was more interesting for her to hold the shot glass between her thighs. Fuck she tasted so good that night. Don’t go there now, Edwards. FUCK FUCK FUCK. HOW COULD I L

ET THIS HAPPEN!! The temperature was rising in the room. Suddenly I felt my chest tighten, unable to swallow, unable to breathe, my hands shaking uncontrollably. I knew the signs. I was having a panic attack.

“You took advantage of me?!” I yelled as my panic morphed into anger.

She icily glared at me. This was the Samantha that emerged ever since we moved to Carmel. She was no longer the sweet girl I married in college, but I knew that was my fault, I brought this out of her. I felt a pang of guilt, I screwed this up big time. Fuck, what will my mom and dad say? What the hell will Adriana say? It occurred to me at this moment that I actually didn’t give a shit what they thought. It was Charlotte that was plaguing me, the hurt that this would cause. I eyed the vase sitting on the table, and with lapse judgment I whacked the fucking ugly piece of shit watching it smash against the wall into a million pieces, the flowers and water scattering all across the room. Samantha jumped in shock followed by a small whimper.

“Took advantage of you? YOU ARE MY HUSBAND, NOT HERS!” she shot back as her tears flowed down her face.

I froze. Not even a flinch. I knew she had suspected something. I just didn’t know how much she knew. My tongue was tied, there were no words I could say right now that could erase this moment. This was it, she knew. No turning back. No denying the truth. The moment I had dreaded since the day I fell in love with Charlotte had come, but this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. There wasn’t supposed to be a baby involved. The room remained silent. I buried my head in my hands unable to cope with the enormity of the situation.

“Samantha...” I didn’t know how to respond.

What would Charlotte think when she found out? I promised her I hadn’t touched Samantha since we began our affair. My stomach churned, I couldn’t lose her. No way could I lose Charlotte. I wouldn’t know how to live without her. The pain in my chest deepened as the possibility weighed heavily on my mind that she would walk out of my life for good.

“Anyways, I’m sure your little girlfriend will find out soon. Kaley Wilson was at the doctor’s surgery when I found out. We had a nice little chat,” she gloated.

Kaley Wilson, the little bitch, had made life hell for Charlotte. She was probably knocking on Charlotte’s door right now spreading the news. I needed to get out; I needed a chance to explain all this to Charlotte. She needed to know how sorry I was, that I didn’t mean to hurt her. My poor Charlotte, my heart sank knowing what was coming. The urge to protect her from the pain was the only thing I was determined to do.

The doorbell rang, much to my surprise as we weren’t expecting anyone. Samantha walked over to open the door; I heard the voices, recognizing them immediately. It was my parents and sister. I prepared myself for what was about to come.