Into the Light

“In the words of Rocky, dude, far out. For what it’s worth, congratulations man.”

He went

in for a quick man-hug before the other groomsmen arrived. We took our place at the altar and I suddenly felt nervous, I mean, Christ, I wasn’t the one getting married here, but after a month of not seeing her, this was it. This was the decider. Would I be able to look at her the same? Would I still love her despite it all? Would I see my Charlotte or would I see this baby, his baby? My palms started to sweat and almost like he knew, he placed his hand on my shoulder squeezing it tight. The nerves were pushed aside as the music began and I focused on Adriana and Elijah’s moment.

Adriana was anything but traditional sometimes, depending on her mood. I expected the wedding march to play but instead a string quartet played Endless Love as the page boy and flower girl walked down the aisle. I had to admit, they were kind of cute in their little outfits. Next came the bridesmaids. I knew there were two walking down the aisle, then Charlotte would follow. I watched in anticipation as Adriana’s friend and Elijah’s cousin walked down the aisle, the girls were pretty but my focus wasn’t on them, and I didn’t even notice that I was holding my breath in anticipation.

My heart stopped when I saw her standing at the entrance of the church. She was wearing a pale pink strapless dress, the fabric and lace sitting perfectly against her skin. I looked at her face searching for something and instantly her eyes met mine…and in that moment I knew…

I saw her, only her. My Charlotte.

And once again my heart started beating.

How could we make this work?

She walked down the aisle, smiling with a look of content as she made her way to the front. My mind dared to explore this moment, just us, one day her walking down the aisle to be my wife in front of everyone. A proper ceremony, maybe that’s why this all went wrong. Like fate saying ‘hey, you rush me so I’ll fuck up everything for you guys.’ I knew that’s what I wanted; right there in that moment my future was sealed. I knew I wanted her and everything that came with her, including this baby. No, I had no idea how this would work but we would make this work, as long as I woke up every morning with her by my side. She was already Mrs. Edwards, I just needed to let her know that nothing would change that.

The music played louder and Adriana walked down the aisle with my father holding onto her. My mother of course, a basket case, sat at the front dabbing her eyes with a tissue. It was all so overwhelming, and Adriana looked...well, amazing. Quite ethereal.

The ceremony started but I couldn’t help sneaking a look at Charlotte every chance I got. She still looked the same, definitely a lot healthier than when I saw her last. Her skin looked more sun-kissed, her eyes shone again, the light had been switched back on, and her smile… When I caught her smiling at me I couldn’t help but smile back in return. My gaze was broken when the priest announced them husband and wife. The crowd clapped and the newlywed couple exchanged their first kiss. As they walked back down the aisle, I looked directly at Charlotte extending my arm out. She gracefully linked her arm in mine, there was that jolt…again. Its force was so powerful that I saw her jump, and she felt it too.

As we walked down the aisle, all eyes were on us. I wanted so much to talk to her, I needed to tell her what I was thinking but the cameras were everywhere and the chance never presented itself. Outside, people threw rice at the happy couple. Rocky being a sports junkie threw a hard shot at Elijah, smacking him in the face. I burst out laughing alongside Rocky but Elijah shot us an annoyed look while spitting rice out from his mouth. Charlotte was pulled away to take photos. I stood there watching her, the beauty she portrayed, and I couldn’t help feeling sick...but a good sick. Like that butterfly feeling that makes you want to puke. Okay, that came out wrong but all I knew was that I couldn’t take my eyes off her no matter how hard I tried.

I walked over to her when she finished, my tongue was tied, not able to find the right words.

“Hi,” was all I managed. Damn, I was never lost for words.

“Hi yourself.” She smiled back.

The photographer grabbed us once again and before you knew it we were lost in the wedding chaos. The cars pulled up to the church and we were separated yet again. It wasn’t a long drive to the reception but of course, in wedding tradition, and I am not exaggerating when I say a million photos were taken. From a pose by the pond, under the apple tree, against the cars, in the cars, you name it and it was done...three times! The photographer suggested a photo of the bridal party with their respective partners. Again, I thought it might be a chance to speak to her.

As we posed by the flower garden, the fussy photographer snapped pictures, directing us every which way. For a moment when he had to change the roll of film, I tilted my head to whisper in her ear but she was pulled away by Adriana for help on a wedding dress problem.

Fucking hell.

An hour later we were sitting inside the reception hall. I was sitting next to Elijah who kept making out with Adriana; who would have thought that I would be sitting in the most awkward spot there was? Just before the entree was being served, I decided to make a quick dash to the men’s room. On my way there I ran into Rocky and Nikki in the hallway. I could have sworn she had her hair in a bun at the church and now it was out, sitting messily on her shoulders.

“Babe, can you excuse us for a second?” Nikki asked Rocky. He walked back into ballroom with a giant smirk on his face. That fucker just got blown. Nikki’s lipstick looked fresh, like it was reapplied minutes ago.

“First of all, that prank you pulled wasn’t funny. However, it serves him right for begging for the floorshow.”

“I can’t argue with that one,” I replied with a small chuckle.

“Look, you know me, I’m just going to say it how it is… I was there when Charlie found out. She’s very fragile right now. I want you to take that into consideration.”

“Nikki...”

“No, Lex, look, I’m butting out. This is your business. She’s your wife now. All I ask is that you take good care of her, okay? She’s family to me.”

I nodded; I understood exactly how much Charlotte meant to her. How much Charlotte meant to everyone.

Then I remembered she just said she was my wife now. So Charlotte told her, did that mean what I thought it meant? She walked away and I was left standing there, thinking about what she said and forgetting my urgent need to take a piss.

I quickly ducked in and out of the bathroom, then made my way back to the table. Dinner was served and we all sat there chatting amongst ourselves. I knew it was almost time for the speeches but of course some moron in the crowd kept tinkering with their glass, that stupid tradition where one person starts tapping their fork against the glass and the whole room follows, forcing the couple to kiss. It was like the tenth time it had happened tonight and after close examination I realized it was Rocky who always started it. I looked over at him, shooting him a ‘fuck off and stop doing that’ look. He just shot me back a wide grin and raised his glass to me. A few moments later, the MC announced it was speech time. Thankfully I was last, not that I was worried since this was nothing compared to the speeches I had given in front of the most powerful men in the world, but I would have to follow my dad. He was up first and I knew that it would be a tear jerker. Not for me, I didn’t cry over wedding shit, but for all the women in the crowd, especially my mother.

“Thank you all for coming here today to celebrate the marriage of my beautiful and only daughter, Adriana, and my new and hopefully only son-in-law, Elijah.” The crowd let out a small laugh; my father always had a way with crowds.

“Even since Adriana could talk she was obsessed with weddings. Her first failed marriage was at three. I walked into the living room and found all her dolls and bears dressed up sitting in rows. Adriana was wearing a Cinderella costume with a crown; I asked her what she was doing and she said she was getting married and waiting at the altar for her groom. I couldn’t help but be amused by this little girl’s imagination so I asked her who her groom was and she simply replied, ‘Alex’.” The crowd erupted into laughter an