Roomie Wars Box Set

Sundays around this part of town are family day. Everywhere I look, there are screaming babies and parents trying to eat their expensive salmon while wrestling a toddler and caving with an iPad or phone.

I can’t help but smile. Soon that will be us. A part of my life that I’m more than ready to start.

Glancing around the busy area I spot her immediately. Her almond-shaped eyes lighting up when she sees me while waving me over. Weaving my way through the crowd without too much trouble, I get to the table and quickly lean in giving her a hug and kiss on the cheek.

“I’m glad you made it,” Mia says, enthusiastically. “Did she ask many questions?”

“Oh yeah… got the drill.” I don’t want to mention anything about the infamous hand-job fight. “How have you been?”

“Yeah, same, I guess.” I can hear the insecurity in her voice and observe the way she shuffles the napkin between her fingers. It isn’t in me to get involved in anyone’s relationship.

“I haven’t spoken to Troy in a while. We were supposed to catch up for a run, but I got called into work that day.”

“He’s busy. Work, drinking, work, partying,” she notes with dark amusement.

Despite Zoey’s concern over their marriage, I saw Troy a while back coming home from a late shift. He was at a local pub, a place notorious for Saturday night drinks and foreign backpackers mainly in their early twenties. Since they’ve had their kid, their marriage had turned pear-shaped. Again, it isn’t my place to get involved. Zoey manages to do enough of that for the both of us.

“I’ve only got twenty minutes.” Mia takes a sip of her latte. “So, the baby shower. Now Lucille gave me a list of Zoey’s favorite foods which I want to stick to, but I want to run it by you first?”

Mia rattles off a list of food, some of Zoey’s favorites.

“Um, aren’t baby showers supposed to have those cutesy, tiny

sandwiches and cakes shaped like a stork?” I ask.

“Zoey hates birds. Don’t you remember the incident with the so-called doves at your wedding? And the cake isn’t shaped like stork.” She laughs.

How could I forget. One landed on her shoulder and she began to cry. She hates birds.

“Okay,” she continues, jotting it down quickly on some pink girly notepad. “So, you want it cute, but we still need to incorporate Zoey. After all, it’s her day. How about we do mini everything. Mini pizza, tacos, and we can have some healthier options and fresh salads for anyone like yourself.”

“Wait… do I have to be there?”

“No, silly. I mean hardcore health nuts like yourself. You need to drive her and tell her you’re taking her to Lucille’s for lunch, that’s it.”

“But she hates lunch with her mom,” I complain.

“I don’t know. Come up with something, anything. That’s all you need to do so stop panicking,” she scolds.

“I’m not panicking, but I think you underestimate the power of a woman like Zoey.”

Zoey’s relationship with her parents is unusual. She often avoids visiting them, but once there, she will spend hours in the kitchen gossiping, arguing, and eating Lucille’s home-cooked meals. As for her dad, Bob, I can’t fault the guy. He’s a battler and has war stories and scars to prove it. I know well enough to stop telling Zoey she is exactly like her mother. That gets me sleeping on the couch.

“I’m her best friend. I know she can be the biggest pain in the ass. Look, I’ll find something for you to distract her with. Now, let’s talk theme.”

“Isn’t baby the theme?”

“Yes, but do we like owls? Owls are so in right now. Argh… but it’s a bird, dammit,” she argues with herself. “You know, it would be easier if we find out the sex of the babies. Like for prepping.”

“Absolutely no.”

“All right, all right… so theme…”

I tune out when Mia starts listing off other potential themes, remembering the infamous scanning appointment which led to our first heated argument over the babies.

“So…” Susan smiled, looking at the both of us. “Do we want to know what we’re having?”

“Yes,” Zoey cheered, excitedly, the same time I shook my head with a big no. “Why don’t you want to find out? We could shop in theme and pick out names. It’s so much easier. Everyone finds out these days.”