Into the Darkness

“I don’t know. She asked me to leave her alone, said she is finally happy.”

“You did that last time, and look where it got you!”

We were interrupted by the MC announcing the final act for the night. When Sting came on stage the crowd erupted in applause. I couldn’t help but think about us, the past. Everything that I had, how I easily gave it away. Why did I so willingly allow another man to put his hands on her? What the hell was I thinking? She was meant to be mine from the moment we collided in the kitchen that night I came back from college. How could I let her go?

I watched her as she stood alone across the room. Her face looked sad as she raised her hand and touched her lips again. The song ended. I thought about what she said. Let her be happy like she deserves. That’s what I thought I was doing when her mom told me she had moved on. I didn’t think she deserved a jerk like me, not after what I had done to her.

“Lex.” Adriana wrapped her arms around me. She knew the turmoil I was feeling. Her embrace felt comforting in the moment. No matter how much we fought, I loved my sister. “Eric told me Julian had an emergency and left. She will be alone tonight.”

“Adriana, I think it’s best I leave her alone… Wait! WHAT?? So you’re best friends with Eric now?”

“Don’t you just love him! We have a lunch date tomorrow.” She squealed. Oh dear lord, save me now. “If you need me to go I can be there tonight.”

“No, Adriana, it’s OK. I know you have that important breakfast meeting. I’m a big boy. I can handle this.” I kissed her on the cheek as she said goodbye.

The night started to wind down, and I watched as the crowds slowly dispersed. Charlotte was with Eric and Emma, grabbing their things. She looked at me before quickly turning away. So what, I didn’t even get a goodbye? This wasn’t like Charlotte at all. The old Charlotte wouldn’t ignore me. She would be in my face cursing till the sun set if she had a problem.

I walked around the ballroom and said goodbye to a few people, also arranging business meetings with potential investors. As I walked out through the main entrance, I stopped for a brief moment to think about my actions.

If you care for me at all, even as a friend, please just leave me alone. Her words replayed in my mind over and over again like a broken record. I was torn. I didn’t want to make more mistakes. The past was the past and in order to move forward, I had to forgive myself for all the wrong decisions I made. But it wasn’t just about me forgiving myself; it was about her forgiving me.

“Mr. Edwards, your driver is here.” The concierge opened the door to the car.

“Thank you.” I tipped the young guy, then pressed the security screen down to speak to the driver.

“Where to, sir?” the driver asked.

I knew what I had to do. I owed it to her. I would make this right.

“After Dark, please.”

Chapter 9

Charlie

The ten-minute cab ride to After Dark felt like a lifetime. The guilt, betrayal, and the momentary indiscretion all weighed heavily on my shoulders. It’s just a kiss. It meant nothing and he initiated it. I pulled away therefore I shouldn’t feel guilty. Really, Charlie? I studied law at Harvard. How stupid could I be? The problem wasn’t my brain. The problem was my heart pulling it along, guiding it in the wrong direction. I could practically hear the GPS in my head telling me to turn around as soon as possible. That’s all I had

to do then: turn around. Don’t go there, ignore anything and anyone who would deter me from my final destination: marrying Julian.

It didn’t take Eric long to break the uncomfortable silence. He kept his voice low while Emma sat in the front speaking loudly on her cell. “OK Charlie, are you going to tell me about Lex?”

I could hear the anticipation in his voice, but I just wanted to forget tonight. It was too much with both him and Julian there. Every time I saw Alex I felt this surge of anger – for leaving me, for choosing her, but mostly because I still wanted him desperately. The kiss replayed in my mind, the desperation he felt. Then the guilt washed over me and now I was back to square one.

“There’s nothing to tell. We dated in high school.”

“So when you say ‘dated,’ were you in love with him? Why did you break up?”

This was the type of conversation that needed to take place over a bottle of tequila, never-ending packet of Hershey’s and a box of tissues. Not in the back of a cab. I knew he wouldn’t give up so I gave him the best answer I could but knowing Eric, he’d keep pursuing his line of questioning.

I faced the window as I spoke barely above a whisper. “I thought I was in love with him but I was just a kid. I didn’t know what love was. We parted ways and I went to college.”

“OK, but honeycakes, he is drop-dead gorgeous! Don’t you want to tap that ass again?” Here we go. Eric tends to get all Queen Latifah when he’s had too much champagne. This was just the beginning.

“E, he might be gorgeous but look, he’s just another big shot CEO. His ego is so big it has its own air supply and should come with a government warning, and quite frankly any woman is just a notch on his belt anyway. These types of guys don’t stick around, and aren’t you forgetting a very important factor… Hello!” I said as I flashed my ring in front of him.

“Oh yeah…but are you sure about it?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”