Into the Darkness

“Time to make this a reality,” he said, then he pushed my skirt up, taking me from behind.

Round three, here we go.

…

“I’m here, I’m here!” I bolted through my front door, praying I didn’t have jizz running down my leg. Fuck me, I felt like a sloppy pastebucket.

“Hiya!” she said, hugging me tight.

I excused myself, quickly changing in my room to my sweats and a tank top. As I walked back in, Adriana was reading my tattered copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.

“Don’t you just love how dominant and jealous Christian Grey is?” she asked, her eyes quickly darting as she finished reading the page she was on.

“Yeah, sounds familiar,” I murmured.

“But why did Anastasia have to have a bush? It killed my buzz when I read that.”

I laughed out loud. Of course I had thought the exact same thing. I still remember Bull’s and I having a good old rant about people who had bushes.

“Anyways.” She put the book down and faced me as I sat on the couch. “Your place is amazeballs. What’s the name of your interior decorator?”

“Um, me, and have you been talking to Eric because I swear, Adriana, the two of you were separated at birth.”

“Oh em gee, he is totally awesome, right? I can’t believe you did this yourself. You never liked designing or fashion before.”

“Things change, people grow. The designing part I started to enjoy when I lived with my grandmother. She had a taste for random knick-knacks but somehow she made it work. On the weekends we would go to flee markets looking for one-of-a-kind pieces. As for fashion, part of it was because of Nikki. We shared a room in college and every time I would have a date she would lend me her outfits. I kind of got a taste for it.”

“Will you please tell me more about your grandmother?” she asked gently.

“She was an amazing woman—” I hesitated, unsure how long I could go on without breaking down. “I only met her a few times when I was young because her and my mom didn’t really get along. When things in Carmel got too difficult my dad spoke to her and she welcomed me with open arms. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without spending those last five months with her. She was such a compassionate woman, so much wisdom. She held onto me when I needed hope, gave me strength to see the future.” I stopped abruptly knowing I couldn’t go on. Could I pour my heart out to Adriana and tell her my grandmother was there, holding my hand on the darkest day of my life? My heart tightened as I closed my eyes, reliving the memory. “She was sick but she never told anyone. The day she passed away was when I found out.” We were both quiet for a moment. I started to cry but quickly put myself back together. I looked at Adriana and asked, “Will you tell me what happened, when you found out?”

She held my hand as she spoke. “I noticed Lex acting weird but I had no idea about the baby. Samantha called us over one night and she announced the pregnancy. Lex was furious, I mean full on Defcon10 furious. He didn’t want this to happen. My parents of course saw it as a blessing. The next day we went over to see if Lex had calmed down. Samantha was home by herself and she was visibly upset. She had been crying and as my mom consoled her, she told her that Lex was having an affair. When she said your name, we all froze. My father was livid. He was ready to kill Lex. I was numb. You were my best friend, and I felt betrayed by you.”

“Adriana, it was never my attention. I loved him so much…”

She looked up curiously as I openly admitted my feelings for him. “I thought about that. I thought maybe what you and Lex had was like me and Elijah but Samantha kept telling me that you used me to get closer to Lex and that all along you had your eye on him. I don’t know why I believed her. The biggest regret I have is not following my instincts. Instead I gave up on our friendship.”

I let out a huge sigh. “You know what? It’s done, and now we move on.”

She hugged me tight. I missed her, my best friend. “Yes, I know. It’s like fate played a part. Now, will you be my maid of honor?”

I looked at her, the excitement radiating off her. “Of course, Adriana!” We hugged tight again and I thought I might as well ask the most important question or I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. “Who’s designing the dress?”

She rambled on about the designers involved, my heart racing with excitement.

“We planned our wedding three years ago but right before the big day Elijah was sick. We found out he had cancer. Thankfully with plenty of chemo he was able to walk away cancer-free and has had a clean bill of health for three years.”

“I’m so sorry. I can’t begin to imagine how difficult that must have been for you.”

“It was but luckily I had my family to support us. Lex exhausted himself finding the best cancer centers in the world. I don’t know what I would have done without him,” she said, then she went silent for a few moments. She looked at me curiously. “You know, he will be best man at the wedding.”

I kind of knew that would be the case but I couldn’t say no. It wasn’t about us; it was Adriana and Elijah’s special day.

“It’s cool, Adriana. I’m sure we can both be in the same room as each other.” My mind flashed to my office. Yes, we could be in the same room as each other but maybe not with our clothes on.

“Charlie, look, you don’t need to answer…but were you with him tonight? I won’t ask anything else because he is my brother and that would be TMI.”

I laughed, how awkward. I thought our sharing days were long gone. My cell buzzed and I quickly grabbed it off the coffee table. It was a text from Lex.