Into the Darkness

“Go on, there’s more,” Bull’s said.

It was a like a Mary Poppin’s bag of sex toys. I pulled out handcuffs, a butt plug and a flogger. After a table discussion on how each should be used, I thanked Bull’s and Rocky. I avoided at all costs looking at Lex who seemed to be amused with all the toys I was given. My purse vibrated and I knew it was my cell. I leaned under the table and pulled it out to read the text.

I’ve already planned on when and where all those items will be used on you.

Holy shit! I fumbled with my phone, dropping it under the table. As I excused myself to find it, I couldn’t help but look over at Lex’s legs. I nearly had a coronary as I watched his hand rub the front of his pants. SON OF A BITCH! When had he texted me that? It probably was during that time I had avoided all eye contact with him. I sat back up and tried to compose myself as best as I could. He wasn’t looking my way but the smirk on his face said it all.

“Time to open your gift from Lex!” Adriana pushed Lex’s hand towards me. Instead he stood up and walked over to me. “Happy Birthday, Charlotte.”

Lex was always known for giving extravagant gifts. I fumbled with the bow that sat on top of the brown box. I was nervous and having the whole table watch me, anticipating my every move, made it even worse. As the bow came undone, I lifted the lid. Inside sat a Tiffany’s box. Already my heart was fluttering, terrified of the contents that lie underneath. I lifted the lid of the box, and my heart stopped when I saw what lay there. It was a necklace but it wasn’t the necklace that made me want to cry, it was the pendant attached. A white gold Phoenix bird encrusted with diamonds.

“Lex… I… Thank you.” I could barely get the words out. The emotion was written all over my face. If only he knew what it meant to me, how this tiny little bird represented so much. I stood up, legs shaking, and…I hugged him. Really tight. I knew the table was watching but for all they knew it was a present from a good friend. I whispered in his ear, “How did you know?”

“Your tattoo. I know it means a lot, I just wish you would tell me why.”

I completely forgot about the tattoo and the night he asked me. He pulled away from me and grabbed the box. Pulling the necklace out he motioned for me to turn around. Placing the necklace on my chest, he fastened the clips at the back. Like placing the missing piece from a puzzle, it felt right. This felt right.

The night went on and we relaxed, drinking away, telling stories. An announcement came on advising us that the karaoke stage was open. The restaurant cheered. I noticed that the cheering came from the busload of Japanese tourists who sat towards the front of the stage.

“Oh em gee, Charlie! Duo time!” Eric raced to the stage and grabbed the karaoke books. Five of them to be exact. My friends scoured through the books, discussing songs they would sing. I drank another glass of sangria. I fucking needed it if I was gonna sing karaoke with Eric. I heard Julian rustle his belongings beside me. I noticed that he had remained quiet since Lex had given me the necklace.

“Is something wrong?” I asked, pretending not to know.

I could tell he was annoyed and he had every right to be. “Look, Charlie, I’m going to go.” He got up from the table. I followed him, unaware he would actually just get up and leave and not say goodbye to anyone. We were met by the cool breeze outside. He turned around to face me.

“Is something going on between you and Lex?” he said flatly.

I was caught off guard, my mind catching up, thinking of how to answer this question correctly. “Julian, he’s just a friend.”

“I’m not a fool, Charlie. I know what type of guy Edwards is. Is that what you want?”

“Julian. Lex is the past. I don’t want anything with him.” The words hurt as they left my mouth. Here I was trying to save this relationship, but why? My heart had made up its mind but my head was fighting tooth and nail to not let Lex be part of my life.

“Listen, Charlie…” He hesitated then reached in his pocket and produced a small box. “Happy birthday. You decide what it is you really want.” He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek before he walked away. I stood there alone on the sidewalk. My hand clutched the tiny box, not knowing what to do. I walked back into the restaurant and stood by the doorway. I opened the box. It was a key, the top part shaped like the batman symbol. I read the note attached to the key.

The key to my batcave…and my heart.

I placed the key back in the box. A tear slipped down my cheek. What the hell was I doing and most importantly what the hell did I want? Well I knew what I wanted, but I was afraid that if I said it out loud then there would be no way back. I returned to our table, a little unsteady as the sangria had taken over. When I finally spotted everyone, they were cheering on Rocky who was singing “Call Me Maybe.” I had to laugh, it was impossible not to. Bull’s looked mortified but that only meant she loved his goofy ass. As the song finished, the crowd roared and the Japanese tourists pulled out their pens and autograph books, begging him for an autograph. He grinned as he signed away and took photos with the tourists. Our table was in hysterics. Finally Bull’s cracked a laugh, shaking her head in disapproval.

Eric was still trying to decide what to sing. He sat there belting out lines to each song, trying to get pitch-perfect like he was auditioning for The Voice. It made me laugh a little as I remembered the time we reenacted that TV show in our office. Emma and I had pretended to be the coaches sitting behind the chairs. We would turn around pretending to choose Eric and he would go into this long speech about how singing was his life and that God guided him to The Voice. It was hilarious.

My attention moved to Adriana who was persuading Lex to sing. Lex had a beautiful voice, smooth and soothing. He wasn’t the type to get up and sing in front of crowd however his sudden burst of courage intrigued me. He walked over to the stage as they called his name, speaking briefly to the man in charge of the music. He walked on stage and settled at the piano. The lights dimmed and the crowd roared as he began playing the notes. My heart beat so loud I feared it would overpower the music he played. I knew the tune: it was Bruno Mars, When I Was Your Man.

I closed my eyes, taking in every word of the song. This meant more to me than anything. Was it time to finally forgive? He was hurting… My Alex was hurting. My heart was telling me that he needed to know that if what he sang was true then I owed this to him. It wasn’t just about me anymore. He was right; he did have feelings too and I couldn’t have become that cold that I couldn’t acknowledge that. We needed to talk, but not tonight. For now I looked at him on the stage, admiring his courage to bare his soul to me in front of everyone.

“I know the song we will sing,” I said, my voice barely a whisper.

“What is it, Charlie?” Eric asked.

I leaned in and told him. If I couldn’t talk to Lex, I would follow his lead, bare my soul through this one song and hope he understood what I needed from him. What I needed in order to fix us.

Chapter 22

Lex

I was due to fly back to London on Monday morning. I knew Charlotte’s birthday was on Saturday and I didn’t know how to approach her. The little blue box sat on my nightstand, a constant reminder of her, tormenting me. It had taken me most of yesterday morning to pull the strings at Tiffany’s to get the diamonds encrusted into the pendant. Thank my fucking lucky stars the manager knew who I was so after a shitload of money was sent their way, it was hand-delivered to my suite. I knew this meant a lot to her. When I asked her about it she brushed it off in typical Charlotte fashion. When the fuck will she open up to me?

My cell buzzed, startling me from my thoughts. Please be her, I prayed. I didn’t recognize the number.