Into the Darkness

“Since she is my friend I’m sure I can get her home safely.” I stressed the ‘friend’ part since Nikki was such a fucking bitch.

“Babe, he can take her. So, tomorrow night, yeah? Yankees stadium?”

“I’ll send a car to your place and we can go together.”

“Sweet, bro!”

They said goodbye and I took Charlotte’s hand as she struggled to walk. Her eyes were glassy, but she still looked so beautiful. I just prayed she wouldn’t puke all over me.

“I can take myself home, you know… This isn’t the first time I’ve partied like it’s 1999.”

I didn’t say anything. There was no point. We walked outside and I hailed a cab. I managed to get her inside after an incoherent argument about being an independent woman. I gave the driver her address and we were on our way.

It was only a fifteen-minute cab ride and part of me felt curious, I would finally see the place she lived in. I knew that no matter what I saw it represented her. It may have been only fifteen minutes but she was passed out by the time we got there. I carried her out of the cab and to the entrance of her building. Her doorman was a pleasant old man who greeted me as soon as we arrived.

“Ahh, Miss Mason, what trouble has she gotten herself into?” he chastised.

“I’m sorry, sir. Would you mind letting us in? I don’t feel comfortable rummaging through Charlotte’s purse, you know women these days with all the junk they carry. Plus I don’t want to wake her.”

“Here’s the spare. Would you kindly bring it back down on your way out?” He handed me the key. He must know her real well, I thought.

“Thank you. Of course I will.”

We arrived at her floor and I managed to open her front door and switch on a light. Before I could stop and take it all in, I managed to locate my way through the hallway until I reached what I could only assume was her bedroom. I opened the door and my assumptions were correct. Her perfectly made bed sat in the middle of the room. I gently laid her down, sliding her shoes off and covering her with her blanket. She lied there peacefully, curled in a ball. Her gentle breathing was the only sound I could hear. She looked peaceful…and breathtaking.

My eyes moved around the room. It felt warm, decoratively speaking. She had a large vanity with all these perfumes and girly shit perfectly positioned and neatly organized. Shit, she was just as fucking anal as me. On her nightstand were a lamp, iPod dock, and a book…Fifty Shades Freed. The room was slightly lit so I opened the page that was bookmarked.

Fuck, it was like porn. I chuckled slightly. This dude had nothing on me. Shit, I was starting to sound like Rocky. I placed the book down before it caused some sort of problem for the wood that had to be restrained several times tonight. I placed her bag on her nightstand and took out her cell in case she needed it. Placing it on the dock to charge I noticed the text that sat on the main screen.

You know we’ve got something good, Charlie. You even said it yourself in your office on Thursday. You know where to find me. I love you, Charlie Mason. I want you to be my wife, don’t ever doubt that.

What the fuck? So the day after I fought with her she runs to him again. I couldn’t stop myself, I went into her Inbox. Her messages were there, from Nikki, Eric, Adriana, but then I found his name. The trail wasn’t too long but it had enough to read the last message he sent to her and her response.

Happy birthday, Gorgeous. Sorry I can’t make dinner tonight but I’ll be free afterwards. The batcave is ready…and so am I, baby. I just want to taste you again, feel myself inside you. Stay over again and just maybe you’ll get breakfast in bed, just the way you like it.

I sat there, head bowed clutching the phone. My heart was racing; I couldn’t even comprehend what I was reading. Was she still fucking him? I wanted to shake her and wake her up and ask her directly. I had to read her response.

Thank you... Alfred got the night off again? Let’s see if I survive a night of Eric’s shenanigans.

At least her response wasn’t so inviting. I wanted to scream…like a fucking girl. Then beat the shit out of him, but instead I rummaged for every bit of patience I had and placed the phone back or else I knew I wouldn’t stop. It wasn’t only the anger that was taking over me; it was the jealously. That he touched her, that he had been inside her and that he got to wake up with her. Something I had never done to this day. Even back in the day we were always trying to be discreet. Not once did I have the honor to hold her in my arms all night and wake up beside her. This was too much for me to handle. I was not thinking rationally therefore I needed to leave before I did something I would regret later.

I stood up to walk away as she murmured random words. Her last words stopped me.

Lex, I love you… Please don’t leave us.

Us, there was that word again. I love you... How I longed to hear the words come out of her mouth. I wanted it to be real; I wanted her to look me in the eyes when she said it. It may have been seven years since I last heard it but the words still did something to me. I sighed as I walked out of the room.

I stopped in the living room to take in the surroundings. It was very cozy, very Charlotte. She had a ton of books, probably more girly porn books. She had a wall filled with frames. I walked over and looked at each picture. She looked happy in every one of them. Not like the miserable girl I supposedly left behind. There was one black and white photo that captured my interest. She was laying her head on the lap of an older lady. They were sitting on a porch swing however Charlotte was lying down. She was covered with one of those homemade crocheted blankets. She looked gaunt, her eyes were black but there was a hint of a smile. The older lady had her hand on her cheek. It must be her grandmother that she spoke about. I knew now by looking at this picture how much pain she was in to lose her. I was a failure; I failed US as she put it. It was one of those moments I wanted to hide away and deal with it with my good old friend, Jack Daniels. Nothing I could say or do now would ever take away the pain I caused her.

I couldn’t do this anymore, just fucking. I wanted all of her but I didn’t know how to fix this even though I thought I did. I needed a break from us, to clear my head and think about the right way to make us one again. There was no doubt that being around her caused a massive problem—we either argued or fucked. I closed the door to her apartment, my heavy heart riddled with guilt.

I don’t know what time it was but the empty bottle of bourbon next to me reminded me how I spent the night after I returned to the hotel. My head fucking hurt like hell. The sound of my cell woke me; I reached over with much pain and grabbed it from the floor where it must have fallen. It was midday and the text was from Charlotte.

Thank you for taking me home, Lex.

She wasn’t angry that I took her home but my irrational thoughts wondered if she would see Julian today. My head throbbed when I thought of it. Don’t go there, Edwards. I may have in a drunken manner last night contacted Bryce with personal details on Julian. I also may have asked him to do a background check. I needed to know who I was dealing with. In the heat of the moment my actions seemed fair but now I wondered if I’d stooped too low.