Kicking Reality

I’m standing in my wardrobe; black-laced bra and matching panties, wondering what I should wear tonight. I really didn’t want Ash and Logan to come; feeling like I was backed into a corner. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy their company, I just knew Wes could be a dick and had never met Logan which meant he would be a double dick.

The texts between us were fun, but I left it at that. Logan never showed interest in me before the night at the lake and these flirtatious conversations were just a part of everyday life from a man with a long belt.

At least, it’s what I continue to tell myself.

The black off-the-shoulder dress is calling my name, paired with some heels that laced all the way up the front of my legs stopping just underneath my knees. I place the shoes on first, knowing it was a mission to get these laced up. As gorgeous as they were, they were a huge pain in the ass to get on.

My cell is laying on the white carpet, beneath my feet. Leaning down, I see Mom’s name flash on the screen.

“What’s up, Mom? I’m literally knee-deep in this leather heel that is a blessing and curse.”

“Are those the ones you wore to that award show where that rapper gave you his number and you had to tell him that he had food stuck in his grill?”

“Your attention to detail is priceless, Mom.” I laugh. “And yes, they are the hooker heels.”

“Must be a special occasion.”

“Just a party at Scarlett’s house. Did I tell you Ash and Logan are coming?”

I hear the pause, followed by the sound of the oven timer chiming in the background.

“Your brother will be the death of me. Did I tell you that I had a lengthy conversation with Alessandra or how he likes to call her—Sandy?”

“Was it over the wet towels on the bed?” I cringe, my brother is a slob. “Or how he picked his toenail in bed?”

“It was over them having an argument when he left. It seems that she doesn’t understand his lifestyle. The traveling part. I tried to explain it without getting involved. The last thing I want to be known as is the nosey mother-in-law.”

“How about the mother-in-law that writes about cowboys getting it on in the barn with the farmer’s wife?”

“You laugh now but that bestseller paid for your ballet lessons which you gave up after one recital,” she points out.

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks Mom,” I tease gently. “Listen, I have to go. Wish me luck.”

“Luck?” she questions. “With what kid?”

Darn it. I hadn’t been honest with Mom about what happened with Wesley. Every time she would bring him up, I would quickly answer then steer the conversation onto a different subject. I don’t know why I struggled with it, usually I would tell her everything. A part of me believed that if I told her the truth, it would make it harder to live a lie in front of the cameras.

“Things have been difficult between me and Wesley. I just hope tonight we can relax,” I half admit.

“I figured that,” she soothes over the phone. “I’m here kid. No judgment. Okay?”

“I know, Mom.”

We hang up the call and I feel a bit better about how I left things with us. With my shoes on, I slip into my dress when Wesley walks in. He knew better than to walk in unannounced but disregarded my wishes, standing behind me wearing his designer jeans and dark grey shirt with his sleeves rolled up.

I hated that a part of me still desired him. The part that remained confused and hurt by his actions. If only his hands hadn’t touched someone else. If only he didn’t think that destroying our relationship was okay.

Taking a deep breath in, I turn around while placing my earrings on.

“You look good,” he says, adjusting his cuffs.

“Thank you. So do you, I guess.”

“You guess?” He places his hand on his heart, making a pained face with a smile. “Ouch. Okay, I deserve that.”

“You deserve a lot of things.”

“And not you, right?”