Kicking Reality

“I wish I could come to the game but we have a filming schedule and I can’t get out of it.”

“With Wesley . . .”

It’s a statement, not a question.

“Don’t do this, Logan.” I get out of bed standing beside him. “Focus on your game and not on what either of us can’t control.”

“We can’t control?” His eyes bore into me, a mixed look of confusion and denial. Sitting up in bed, his back against the headboard, he rests his hands on his lap waiting for me to respond.

“Our emotions, Logan.”

There’s silence, something that didn’t surprise me. Neither of us expected the situation to end up here—in bed discussing ‘emotions.’

“Emmy . . .” He trails off, running his fingers through his messy sex hair. “I can’t discuss this now.”

I sigh, but keep my posture straight and confident not wanting to show him how much he affected me.

“Of course, you can’t,” I tell him with a smile “Go to sleep, Logan. There’s always another time.”

“Good night.”

“Good night,” I whisper, closing the door behind me and allowing my heart to feel the pain.

This wanting more terrified me.

Not because I was incapable of falling in love.

It was because I shouldn’t be falling in love with Logan Carrington.

“Family means everything to me. Those joined by blood, marriage, and those that were destined to be in your life no matter what.”

~ Emerson Chase.

I couldn’t sleep a wink.

My body is still on West Coast time—wide awake and staring at the ceiling. I lay in a room that divides two important people in my life: my brother and the man that consumed me. It would have been selfish for me to drag Logan into a conversation about us with his focus needing to be on tomorrow’s game.

Yet my brain refused to shut down.

So many questions that needed answering.

There were many things that stood against us, and it was difficult for me to hold back the resentment towards everyone that would have a ‘say’ in our relationship. It wasn’t just me and Logan. There was Wesley, Ash, Mom and Dad. Oh . . . and the whole world.

And that’s to say that Logan’s head was in the same place as mine. I knew him well. Understood how driven he could be yet when it came to matters of the heart, he thought with his dick only.

And I had no idea if I was more than a notch on his belt. After all, he did screw that nurse. How many other women had he been with while we were having our stringless fun?

The time on my cell tells me it’s after midnight. I toss and turn, desperate to clear my head to no avail.

Do you think people would notice if I fell off the face of this Earth?

I send the text to my sister knowing she would respond instantly since her cell is practically glued to her hand. I had made the conscious effort to keep in regular contact with her after my trip back home.

Is this about Wesley and Farrah at that club?

Huh? I remember they went to some hip club but made no effort to speak to him afterwards. He had free rein to do whatever or whomever he pleased. Our ‘almost’ sexual encounter was a huge wake-up call for him. I think it finally sunk in how stupid his night in Amsterdam was and everything he lost in his life for a moment of pleasure. It didn’t stop him from acting like a jerk, and this season had been the toughest for me trying to keep up the charade. I was ready to move on.

???