Tear (Seaside 1)

After twenty minutes, I realized if I didn’t actually get out of the shower then Alec would knock the door down.

I wrapped the towel around me and walked out of the bathroom.

Alec was sitting on my bed, a tray of food next to him and a few cans of soda.

I gasped. Didn’t he ever knock? What? Was he going to help me dress too?

His gaze met mine and immediately I turned away. I know what I saw in that gaze. His eyes reflected mine and it wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair.

“Sorry, I thought you brought your clothes into the bathroom.”

“Nope.” I turned back around and stared him down.

He grinned. “I’ll turn around.”

“Yes, you will,” I said tightly.

I hurried over to my dresser and grabbed a pair of fresh black leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. My underwear drawer was closer to Alec than I wanted to be. Flushed with embarrassment I walked over to it, knowing that he watched me out of the corner of his eye.

My hand touched the black victoria secret panties, just as Alec coughed.

“Do you mind?” I said tersely.

“I like the pink better.”

Patience. Patience. Is this what its like to have a brother? No, that would be a no. Because it’s illegal and icky to want a member of your family the way I want Alec.

Demetri. I needed to focus on Demetri.

I snatched the black pair just to piss Alec off and grabbed my sports bra from the other corner of the room.

“Girls take forever to get dressed,” he grumbled, still looking away from me.

“Not usually, I’m just doing it for your benefit.”

“You’re crabby when you don’t eat.”

I sighed. “Okay, done.”

He turned around, his gaze hungrily taking in my sweats as if I was wearing some sort of short dress. Alec nodded and looked toward the dinner. “I didn’t really know what you wanted, so I threw in some stir fry with your leftover chicken, hope that’s okay.”

“Smells good.” My stomach grumbled on cue as I walked over to the bed and sat down. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

“Nat, I don’t think I’ll have an appetite for a week. I was too worried to do anything except call you and stare out the window.”

“I was fine.” I shoveled more food in my mouth.

“I promised Demetri.”

I dropped the fork onto the plate. “You promised Demetri? What exactly did you promise him?”

Alec shrugged and looked away. “I promised him I’d take care of you. Then in my first day of babysitting you disappear.”

“So I’m a toddler?”

“No, you’re just very important.”

“Important or irritating?”

“I’ll tell you when I know.” He gave an amused chuckle and pointed to the food. “All of it, Nat. Eat all of it.”

“I swear you’re trying to fatten me up.”

“Maybe.” He sat on the bed.

I ate in silence. Too hungry to be angry that Alec was watching me every time I lifted the fork to my mouth and swallowed. I swear, if I pretended to choke I’d probably give him gray hair.

“Done,” I announced, wiping my mouth with the napkin he brought up.

“Good girl.” He pushed the tray away. “Now, how about a rematch?”

“Rematch?”

“Last I remember…” He stretched out across my bed. “You cheated during our final round of Go Fish. I think I deserve a rematch, don’t you?”

“Fine,” I grumbled. “But I don’t know how I’m going to manage to eat candy after all that food.”

“I’ll be easy on you.”

“Right, you and easy don’t really fit in the same sentence, Alec.”

His lips twitched like he wanted to smile but thought better of it. “My place or yours?”

“Your place doesn’t have crazy people coming in and out all hours of the night to talk about their feelings with my mom, so I choose yours.”

He nodded and bounced off the bed. “You know just because they’re seeking help from your mom doesn’t make them crazy.”

“I know. Otherwise I’d be putting you and your brother in that very same boat.”

“I thought we were captains of the crazy boat. My mistake.” Alec opened the bedroom door and I followed him down the creaky stairs.

“Why do you see her?”

Alec paused on the middle of the stairs, not turning around. I saw his shoulders tense. “We’re just dealing with some stuff, that’s all. You’re mom’s good at what she does. She wouldn’t be one of the most renowned psychiatrists on the West Coast if she wasn’t.”

“Pardon?” My heart started to beat erratically, what was he talking about? “What did you just say?”

He turned around slowly his eyes not meeting mine. “Your mom, she comes very highly recommended.”

“By who?” I yelled.

“Everyone.” He shrugged. “Look, I thought you knew. Your mom’s like a genius, she’s written articles on grief, loss, depression, and addiction. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s gotten offers to start her own rehab facility.”

“Oh.” I wasn’t sure if I was more angry or guilty that I didn’t know all of these things. Why hadn’t she told me? Why wasn’t I important enough to tell? If she was so freaking good at her job why did she ignore her own kid?