Reminders of Him

I’ve had five years of practice. I didn’t tell Ledger about my kitchen experience, because it’s always awkward to talk about, but I worked in the kitchen when I was away. A couple dozen bar patrons is a walk in the park compared to hundreds of women.

I wasn’t sure how it would feel being stuck back here with Aaron at first because he looks intimidating, with stocky shoulders and dark, expressive eyebrows. But he’s a teddy bear.

He said he’s been working here since Ledger opened the doors several years ago.

Aaron is a married father of four and works two jobs. Maintenance at the high school during the week, and kitchen duty on Fridays and Saturdays here. All his children are grown and out of the house now, but he says he keeps this job because he saves up his paychecks and he and his wife like to take an annual vacation to visit her family in Ecuador.

He likes to dance while he works, so he keeps the speakers turned up, and he yells when he talks. Which is entertaining, since he’s usually talking about the other employees. He told me Mary Anne has been dating a guy for seven years and they’re about to have a second child together, but she refuses to marry him because she hates his last name. He divulged that Roman is obsessed with a married woman who owns the bakery down the street, so he’s constantly bringing cupcakes to work.

He’s just about to tell me all about the other bartender, Razi, when someone walks through the kitchen doors and says, “Holy shit.” I spin around and find the waitress, Mary Anne, looking around the kitchen. “You did all this?”

I nod.

“I didn’t realize what a mess it was until now. Wow. Ledger will be impressed with his rash decision when he gets back.”

I didn’t even know he was gone. I can’t see up front, and none of the bartenders have been back to the kitchen at all.

Mary Anne puts her hand on her stomach and walks to a refrigerator. She looks to be around five months along. She opens a Tupperware container and grabs a handful of grape tomatoes. She pops one in her mouth and says, “Tomatoes are all I crave. Marinara sauce. Pizza. Ketchup.” She offers me one, but I shake my head. “Tomatoes give me heartburn, but I can’t stop eating them.”

“Is this your first?” I ask her.

“No, I have a two-year-old boy. This one’s also a boy. You have any kids?”

I never know how to answer this question. It hasn’t come up much since I was released from prison, but the few times it has, I usually say I do and then immediately change the subject. But I don’t want anyone here to start asking questions, so I just shake my head and keep the focus on her. “What are you naming him?”

“Not sure yet.” She eats another tomato and then puts the container back in the refrigerator. “What’s your story?” she asks. “You new around here? You married? You seeing anyone? How old are you?”

I have different answers for every question coming at me, so I nod, then shake my head, and I end up looking like my head is wobbling like a bobblehead doll by the time she stops firing questions at me.

“I just moved to town. I’m twenty-six. Single.”

She raises a brow. “Does Ledger know you’re single?”

“I guess.”

“Huh,” she says. “Maybe that explains it.”

“Explains what?”

Mary Anne and Aaron exchange a look. “Why Ledger hired you. We’ve been wondering.”

“Why did he hire me?” I’d like to know what she thinks is the reason.

“I don’t mean this to come off in a negative way,” she says, “but we’ve had the same employees for over two years now. He’s never mentioned needing more help, so my theory is that he hired you to make Leah jealous.”

“Mary Anne.” Aaron says her name like it’s a warning.

She waves him off. “Ledger was supposed to get married this month. He acts like he’s okay that the wedding was called off, but something has been bothering him lately. He’s been acting weird. And then you apply for a job and he just hires you on the spot when we don’t even need the help?” She shrugs. “Makes sense. You’re gorgeous. He’s heartbroken. I think he’s filling a void.”

It actually doesn’t make sense at all, but I get the feeling Mary Anne is the curious type, and I don’t want to say anything to make her even more curious about my presence here.

“Ignore her,” Aaron says. “Mary Anne craves gossip as much as she craves tomatoes.”

She laughs. “It’s true. I like to talk shit. I don’t mean anything by it; I’m just bored.”

“Why was his wedding called off?” I ask her. Apparently, she’s not the only curious one in this kitchen.