Size Matters (Chaos and Carnage MC 1)

He would have found that so fucking hilarious. She could imagine him and the club, thinking how easy and stupid she was.

Carl went back to the diner, and Beatrice showed her upstairs to the apartment. They had to go out back toward the entrance. They had barred entry into the main room after a previous tenant kept stealing from them.

Maddie promised to never steal from them, and Beatrice had chuckled.

The apartment was small, but it was nice. Fully furnished, so she didn’t have to worry about any of her old stuff.

“What is the rent?” Maddie asked.

“I’ll take it out of your paycheck. Don’t worry. We’ll talk about it later. I better go help Carl with the customers.” Beatrice moved toward her, wrapped her arms around her, and hugged her tightly. “I’m so glad I’m able to help you.”

Maddie forced a smile to her lips. “Thank you so much for your help. It means a lot to me.”

There was no lie to her words. She meant them.

With the door closed behind Beatrice, Maddie spun in a circle, looking at the apartment. Tears filled her eyes.

“Look, does anyone want to take this cunt? I can vouch that she’s no longer a virgin.”

Collapsing to the floor of the apartment, she covered her face and sobbed. She couldn’t stop the tears. They kept on falling.

She didn’t know how much time had passed. Curled up in a ball on the floor, she felt sick. Her stomach began to rumble, but she didn’t listen to it.

The front door was knocked, and she heard Beatrice on the other side. The older woman didn’t linger for long before leaving.

Maddie was relieved. She was so tired.

The tears finally stopped. Exhaustion filled her.

All she kept seeing were Bull’s eyes. The mockery in them. She should have known he was lying to her all this time. He didn’t find her attractive at all. His club probably put him up to it for a laugh.

Maddie glanced toward the window and saw it was dark outside.

You can stay on the floor, or get up and move around.

She wanted to stay on the floor and never move again. Bull had gotten under her skin, into her heart, and she hated it so damn much.

Lifting off the floor, she pressed her palm flat to the ground, and then another. She got all the way off the floor and stood.

She wasn’t a quitter. She was a fighter.

Maddie slowly moved toward the window and closed the curtain. She did the same throughout the apartment. With her meltdown earlier, she didn’t need to put any heating on.

Walking through the apartment, she saw there was a small kitchen, an even smaller bathroom, and a bedroom, along with a sitting room.

It wasn’t much, but fortunately, it was better than the streets, which was where she’d be right now.

Bull hadn’t been by his home for two days. Why did she even stay at his place?

She went to the bathroom, and there was a cracked mirror over the sink. Staring at her reflection, Maddie didn’t like what she saw. Puffy eyes, red cheeks, and there was a sadness to her eyes.

This was what true heartache felt like.

“I’m fine,” Maddie said.

She kept repeating the words in the hope they would finally stick.

Chapter Sixteen

One week later

Working at the diner wasn’t so bad. Beatrice had a uniform for her, which had to be taken out as she was on the bigger size. The story of her life. Maddie got to work and was able to catch on quite quickly to the way they did things at the diner. There wasn’t much in the way of training, but Beatrice was always there to help rectify any mistakes.

For the whole week, Beatrice and Carl were her rocks. They helped her to focus.

Some of the customers had heard about what happened and would make nasty retorts at her. She ignored them. It wasn’t the first nor would it be the last time someone called her out about her weight. Her weight was always the first thing they noticed about her.

She’d come to see that. She wasn’t just Maddie. No, she was the fat girl, the chunky one.

After her shift late on Friday, and another couple of customers laughing at her expense, Maddie didn’t go straight to her apartment. Instead, she ended up walking through the town.

Thanksgiving was fast approaching, and in most shops, fall decorations and signs of the upcoming feast were heavily displayed.

She had thought she was spending Thanksgiving with Bull, but she put that thought to the back of her mind.

Maddie shoved her hands into her jacket and kept on walking. She wanted to forget the pain and the loneliness of what had happened to her. She hated this feeling more than anything.

No man had ever made her feel this way, and she should know seeing as she’d been turned down for so many dates.