Size Matters (Chaos and Carnage MC 1)

“Maddie, they were all lies.”

“No, they weren’t. It’s why I am working out. I am going to be thin and pretty.” She sighed. “Then you might love me again.”

Warm hands touched her, and they were too hot. She groaned, trying to get away.

“I am in love with you. I don’t want you to change. I love you just the way you are.”

“I don’t think you should kiss her, man. She is seriously sick.”

“I don’t care.”

They were talking, and the world was spinning. Her stomach turned and she closed her eyes. “I need to sleep. I’ll feel better in the morning. Must sleep. Will take pregnancy tomorrow. Want babies so badly.”

She sighed, and her eyes felt so heavy. Too heavy to lift.

The world stopped spinning, and then everything became peaceful again.

****

“Any change?” Carl asked.

“None. The doctor has said she is going to be fine. It is a sickness and flu-like bug going around. With Maddie running home in the cold, he thinks it escalated it. He used a lot of big and fancy terms to say she got sick fast and hard.” Bull glanced back toward the bedroom. He hadn’t left Maddie’s apartment in three days, and he hadn’t wanted to.

The doctor didn’t think it was a good idea to move her. To let her get over the worst and then take her back to his place where he could better look after her.

“Beatrice will be by later with some hot soup.”

“Do you want to see her? She’s not awake and is out of it most of the time.” Bull wasn’t going to tell Carl how much of her life she had told him about in her sickened state. The cruelty of the people who adopted her. She had to live with someone telling her just how much she didn’t measure up for most of her life.

No wonder she was having a hard time forgiving him. With everything he heard, he wouldn’t have forgiven him either.

Maddie believed the lies. He had to get her to see the truth.

“Yes, I’d like to.”

They walked into the bedroom, and Maddie was curled up, sleeping peacefully at least. Bull had been woken up plenty of times by her screams. Julio still lingered in her nightmares, and he couldn’t seem to be able to get the man out of there, which fucking infuriated him. He didn’t want anyone hurting his woman, imagined or real.

“I can’t believe she knows the truth,” Carl said. “You know, we watched her for years. Seeing her grow up. Every time Delia brought her to the diner, it was like a gift. We would do anything for her.”

“Don’t think of Delia as a good person.”

“We don’t. Maddie told us some.”

“It doesn’t even hit the surface of what she went through because of that woman.”

“She seemed like such a good person,” Carl said. “Beatrice and I, we wanted a baby so much, but the diner had so much debt, and so did we. It was at a time in our life when we just couldn’t afford the expense, and I hate myself for even thinking in those terms.”

“Life throws us shit all the time. We’ve got to learn to deal with it.”

Carl reached out and took Maddie’s hand. “We lost so much but we’ve gained even more. She is really something, and it kills me she doesn’t see it. She doesn’t see how beautiful she is. How kind and gentle.”

“People have fucked with her head for the last time. I’m not going to let anyone else get close to her.” He was going to protect her from the world if he had to.

“You do love her?”

“More than anything in my life. She is my reason for breathing.” He moved to the other side of her, reaching out to stroke back her hair. Perspiration dotted her brow. He reached for the cloth and wrung it out, pressing the damp cloth to her forehead. “The doctor said it could help.”

“Beatrice and I, we talked about making you steer completely clear of her.”

“Not going to happen.”

“We know you love her. We just don’t know if it’s strong enough.”

“Maddie is mine,” he said. “Mine to love. You’ve been in her life two minutes.”

“So have you.”

“And you gave her up willingly. What I did, I did for her own safety.” He would argue tit-for-tat for as long as he had to. They needed to see they weren’t getting rid of him. Not now. Not ever.

She settled back down, and Carl sighed. “We know you love her.”

“Good.”

“We won’t get in the way. Maddie needs someone to love her. To always be there for her and we know that person is you.”

Bull looked up. “What was that crap then?”

Carl frowned. “I’ve got to do what is best for her, but we’ve never had the chance to get this right. I’m doing my best.” He glanced down at his watch. “I’ve got to head back. Beatrice will be by later.”