Size Matters (Chaos and Carnage MC 1)

Bull hated himself more than ever at the feel of just how different she was in his arms.

Pressing his face against her neck, he breathed her in, basking in her scent. “I love you,” he said.

She sniffled.

Leaning back, he saw tears fall from her eyes.

“You broke my heart.”

He wrapped his arms around her, feeling his own world shatter as she finally let go. This was worse than suffering any kind of torture. He wasn’t lying when he said Maddie was his whole world. She was.

The sobs broke from her, and there was far more to it than what he’d seen. Maddie was feeling all of the hurt, the heartbreak, and the pain inflicted by others. The name-calling. The stood-up dates. Him. Grant. Her parents. All of it.

He ran his hands down her back, being her rock when she needed it most. “I’ve got you,” he said. Bull didn’t know how long they stood in that shower for before Maddie calmed down.

She’d needed to cry.

Bull was pleased he’d been the one to let her do it.

She pulled away from him first, and he didn’t stop her. He grabbed the bar of soap and a sponge and began to work on soaping her body, washing away the illness that had affected her the past few days.

Maddie stayed perfectly still, allowing him to clean her up and take care of her.

After the shower, he dried her completely, making sure her hair was also dry. He found a brand-new pair of pajamas and helped her into them.

He settled her into bed before he headed for the small kitchen to make her some food.

For several minutes, he stood in the kitchen, frozen, feeling every inch the piece-of-shit boyfriend he’d been. He’d known hitting where it hurt would be the most effective, but he just didn’t realize how badly it would hurt her, and now, she was broken.

Bull clenched his hands into fists, gritting his teeth and allowing the anger to dissipate before getting her some food together. He wanted to kill every single person who had ever done her wrong, and that put him at the top of the list. He couldn’t kill himself, but what he could do was make sure she never felt that way again.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Four days later

Maddie hadn’t gotten any Christmas shopping in, and they were only days away. Carl and Beatrice had invited her over for dinner, and for the day. They wanted to have a family dinner, but she had declined.

They were a lovely couple, and she knew they would have made fantastic parents, but she had to get used to the idea of them, and it wasn’t easy. She still had her memories with Delia.

As she walked down the main street, she stopped at several shops and glanced at what they had on display in the windows. She had a lot of people to buy for this year.

She was usually a lot better at making decisions than this.

Her cell phone rang, and she picked it up, seeing it was Bull calling.

“Hello,” she said.

“Hey. How are you doing?” he asked.

She frowned. “You don’t sound so good.”

“I feel … fine.” He coughed a little more. “Totally fine.”

She always said the word fine.

“Have you been sick? What about your temperature?”

“Maddie, I’m fine. Tell me what you’re doing.”

“I’m looking for Christmas presents,” she said. “I’ve got a long list to buy for.”

“Are you planning on getting me a gift?” he asked.

“No. You’re still in my bad books.” After Bull had nursed her back to full health, staying mad at him was a hard thing to do. In fact, as he visited the diner, offering her her old job back, everything was hard.

She didn’t want to give in too easily, but at the same time, she also didn’t want to be horrible to him.

That time in the shower, looking into his eyes and admitting he’d hurt her, something inside her changed. She wasn’t angry at him, nor did she need to find a reason to forgive him.

Deep down, she had known he had a reason to do it with Julio and everything that went down that day. Bull had been trying to protect her from the start.

“Well, I will make it into your good books, so you’re going to need to put me on the good list.”

She smiled. “Yeah?”

“I’ve got a cunning, master plan to make you fall in love with me.”

“You do? That sounds like a lot of fun.”

“It will be. Are you opposed to lots of orgasms?”

Maddie glanced around the street, wondering if anyone had heard him. “Er, I don’t think we should talk about this over the phone.”

“Phone sex will make it easier for you to forgive me. I’m gifted.”

“Bull, I’m going to hang up now.”

She didn’t move the phone as Bull started to cough.

“Bull?”

He didn’t answer. More coughing.

“I think I’m going to be sick.”