First Love Only Love (The Life 2)
It’s not just the new clothes, or even that she’s with Gabriel Russo, but the fact that she’s happy. Her happiness suffocates me. It chokes the life out of me. I’ve always known that in this world, I can never be happy if she is. Some people might think that it’s jealousy, but it’s not. I’ve always felt this way since we first met. I knew even then that for me to be happy, she needed to disappear.
I wish now more than ever that her life had ended with one of those trips down the stairs. But it had been more fun tormenting her over the years. Taking everything she loved away from her had fed the need in me to watch her suffer. I should’ve burned her face or used a different glue, something that would’ve snatched her stupid ass bald. I should never have let her get so tight with Gabriel. I should’ve found a way to get him on my side.
I refuse to give up, though. If I were a quitter, I’d never have gotten this far. I just have to find a way. There’s no way that my year is going to end like this. No way I’m going to let Gia win. But how? How do I bring it all back full circle?
GABRIEL
She took my challenge to heart and blew my mind right out the top of my head. The emotion that flowed between us was real. One of the most genuine things I’ve ever felt. I could feel our bond being forged stronger even though there was a little voice in my head telling me to pull back. But as always, I put her first, not willing to hold anything back, not willing to shortchange her even though part of me felt guilty. Guilty because I knew what she wanted, even what I wanted to give her, and yet knowing that there was a whole other side of me that wouldn’t allow me to.
But for all that, there’s no way that I could be in bed with her and not be there one hundred percent because I knew she was, that she was giving me her all. I took her into the shower when we left the bed and ended up taking her there too, only remembering that I hadn’t protected her this time around either when she trembled in my arms with her climax, which set mine off as well.
Back in the bedroom, I dressed her in another old tee-shirt before putting her back to bed and joining her there. Poor thing, she fell asleep seconds after her head hit my chest. I stayed awake a little while longer, just listening to her breathe. Letting myself enjoy the moment until I, too, drifted off into slumber.
I don’t know what happened during the night if I had a dream that I couldn’t recall, but I opened my eyes on a new day feeling alive and happy, like genuinely bone-deep happy. There was nothing else on my mind but her, and even though I knew that her being the first thing I thought about when I opened my eyes was heading into dangerous territory, I couldn’t fight the pure joy; I had no defense.
She’d covered me completely in the night, her slender body keeping me pinned beneath her. I lifted my hand to look at my watch and saw it was way too early to wake her, and then the shit from yesterday came rushing back, and I wished I could keep her here with me for the next little while, keep the ugliness I was about to unleash from touching her in any way.
I eased her off me and went to get cleaned up before taking my laptop into the sitting room to get to work. I’ll let the twins keep her preoccupied with party stuff for the next few days while I do what needs to be done, and hopefully, she doesn’t hear about any of this until it’s over.
My sisters wouldn’t agree with her about putting everything on hold until after the party, especially after they learn about her mom. In fact, their claws will really come out now, but she doesn’t need to know that.
By the time she started to stir, I’d set up an appointment for my lunch break to go have a chat with Becky at the jailhouse. She doesn’t know it, but her troubles are only going to get worst from here. “You up!” How can someone be so beautiful upon awakening? It was the light in her eyes, the light that I watched dim as reality erased the remnants of whatever dream she’d awakened from that had put that look on her face.
“Shh, it’s okay.” I sat on the bed and pulled her onto my lap to hold her before the first sob escaped. She cried softly into my chest for the mother she’d lost all over again. While in my head, I begged for the patience to carry out my plans as I’d made them and not go off-script. But her tears, yeah, I’m not built to handle her tears.