Murmuration
IT MIGHT have started the moment they left the diner.
But this is where it finishes.
Sean’s in the house first, panting and smiling his just-for-Mike smile. “Beat you,” he says. “I beat you. Getting old, big guy?”
And it sounds so cocky, so full of life, that Mike drops the duffel bag near the door and says, “You sure about this?” He needs to ask one last time.
The smile fades a little. “Yeah, Mike, I am. You don’t have to keep—”
But Mike’s already moving. One moment he’s near the door, and the next he’s kissing Sean, really kissing him. It’s quick and heated, and Sean’s arms are around his neck. His breath hitches in his chest as Mike’s hands skate down his back, over the swell of his ass to the back of his thighs. His fingers dig in and Sean gets with the program, lifting up, wrapping his legs around Mike’s waist as Mike carries him. They’re eye to eye now and Mike is pleased with this, pleased with the weight of Sean in his arms, the way they feel against each other. He knows this is real. Nothing that feels like this could be anything but.
Sean’s a little breathless when he says, “This shouldn’t be as good as it is. Manhandling me. I’m not a—” but it breaks off into a strangled noise when Mike latches his lips and teeth on to Sean’s neck. Sean tilts his head back, arching into Mike. He’s heavy for such a skinny thing, and Mike presses him up against the wall to keep from dropping him before he kisses his way up Sean’s neck to his ear.
Sean’s hands are in his hair, digging in, and he’s saying Mike’s name, saying “Please, Mike, please” and “Come on, come on, come on.” Mike’s a little light-headed as he takes Sean’s mouth with his own, squeezing a handful of his ass just because he can.
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It’s sweet and heady, and Sean starts fumbling with the buttons on Mike’s shirt, and his hands are shaking like he’s nervous. “Take me to bed,” he demands. “Do it now, Mike Frazier. Come on, big guy. Do it now.”
“Maybe I want to take you right here.” Mike laughs low at the look of indignation on Sean’s face. “Maybe this is good enough for me.”
Sean’s going for coy but missing by a mile when he says, “I’ll let you do things. I’ll let you do things to me. Mike, I just want to be in your bed. Please. Please just take me to your bed.”
Almost from the very first day that Mike met Sean, he knew he’d have a hard time ever saying no. It isn’t that he can’t or that he isn’t capable. No, he can say no if it’s needed. The problem (though, in the grand scheme of things, it isn’t a very big one) with that is that he never wants to say no to Sean. There may have been a time or two when he resented that, when he thought that Sean held too much sway over him, but he let that go that day on the dock, the day he finally gave in to what he wanted most. They took their time to get here after, but it’s all the sweeter because of it.
He says, “Okay. Okay, Sean.”
“Damn right.” Sean goes back to kissing Mike.
It’s awkward. The angle is slightly off, their noses knocking together. Sean’s squirming in his arms. Mike’s trying to not walk either of them into the walls or the sofa. He could set Sean down, sure, but now that he has him here like he is, he’s doesn’t think he can let Sean go.
So they bump their way down the hall, hitting the wall a time or two. Sean’s laughing against Mike’s mouth. He can feel the smile on Sean’s face, making kissing him all but impossible. They just keep their faces pressed together, and it’s terribly endearing to Mike, who thinks that it’s been worth it. The years have been worth it. Because he feels like he does, and he thinks Sean might feel the same. It would have been different, had he given in that day on the dock. It would have been good, but this is better. This is what he was waiting for.
(And maybe, just for a second, he can’t help but feel sorry for that poor bastard on the balcony, that man who was tired and sad and angry. He didn’t love the woman (Jenny), but he cared for her, even after they became this twisted thing that grew like cancer. Mike doesn’t know how he knows this, doesn’t know why he’s even thinking about it, but it’s there, and he thinks, This is what’s real. This is what’s real.)
They reach the bedroom door and Sean’s still snickering, his hands on either side of Mike’s face, thumbs brushing Mike’s eyebrows. Mike kicks the door open and it bangs sharply against the wall, though neither of them can find a reason to care about that. Martin walks out between Mike’s legs, glaring balefully at them for waking him up. He disappears down the hall.
“Your cat doesn’t like me,” Sean says.
“I really don’t care right now,” Mike says. Then he drops Sean on his bed.
Sean laughs again as he bounces, and it really hits Mike then. He’s thought about this moment, this exact moment, so many times over the years. Sean’s smiling, sitting up on his elbows, gazing up at him like he’s something special. Like he’s something just for Sean, and Sean couldn’t be happier about it. He’s in Mike’s bed, and it’s a sight that knocks the breath from Mike’s chest.
“Okay there, big guy?” Sean asks, pressing a foot against Mike’s knee.
“Yeah,” Mike says hoarsely.
“Yeah,” Sean says, rolling his eyes. “You just gonna stand there all night?”
No, he’s not. He reaches down and takes Sean’s foot into his hands. He’s careful with it. Sean’s not fragile, but Mike knows what damage hands can cause. He knows what power they have. He’d never do that to Sean, never raise a hand to him, so he’s going to do this right.
He unlaces Sean’s shoe before pulling it off and dropping it to the floor. Sean’s still smiling at him, but it’s a different smile than the one he’s used to. It’s the smallest of curves, knowing and heated. There’s a hint of teeth to it, and his eyes are bright.
He sets Sean’s foot down on the edge of the bed. Without needing to be asked, Sean raises his other leg. Mike worries the knot a little before it untangles and he slides the other shoe off.
It’s quiet in the room when Sean’s leg falls back to the bed.
Sean drops onto his back, folding his hands behind his head. He flexes his arms a little, that little smile widening slightly. He’s rail thin, and the muscles are too, but Mike likes that about him, always has. Granted, Sean could look however he wanted to and Mike’s sure he’d feel just the same.