Murmuration
He thinks, Nah. Why should I do that?
He says, “She sounds like a good woman.”
“Yeah,” Oscar says. “She was.”
Mike wants to ask what happened to her. Where she went.
If she was dead.
And if she was dead, where she was buried.
Because there’s no boneyard in Amorea.
Why, that would just be macabre, wouldn’t it?
(And there’s that pain again, that loose-tooth pain, as he t
hinks, But then, where do we go when we die? It aches, that pressure. It aches.)
“I’ve been thinking,” Oscar says again.
Mike doesn’t tell him not to hurt himself, because he’s not sure Oscar already hasn’t.
“The mountains,” Oscar says.
“The… mountains?”
“Yeah,” Oscar says, sounding slightly irritated. “The mountains. The motherfucking peaks around us. The pile of rocks where it’s always snowy at the top. Those mountains.”
He knows what Oscar’s talking about. Everyone should. The mountains that surround Amorea are known to everyone. They’re picturesque. They’re perfect. White-capped and looming, always looming. Sometimes, the sun sets right behind them so wondrously that they look like they tower over Amorea, old guardians that protect Amorea from—
From. Huh. From what?
He thinks, The rest of the world.
What a peculiar thought that is.
The rest of the world.
“What about them?” he asks.
“Why don’t we ever go to them?”
“Go to them,” Mike repeats slowly, like he doesn’t quite understand the order in which the words have been presented.
Oscar sits up suddenly, back ramrod straight, eyes as wide as they’ve ever been, the edges white, pupils almost black in the dying light of the torches. “We could go right now.”
“Oscar—”
“We could. I can see it now, Mikey. We could go to them mountains.”
“It’s late,” Mike says. “And we both have to get up early.”
“It’s not late,” Oscar snaps. “It’s never too late.”
“I didn’t say it was too late,” Mike says, trying to be reasonable. “Just that it’s late right now. There’s a difference.”
“Yeah,” Oscar says. “A difference. I know about differences. This morning was different because I couldn’t remember her. But now I can. I’ve been thinking about her all day, Mikey. Little bits and pieces. All the livelong day.” He chuckles bitterly. “It’s funny, what you can lose without ever knowing you lost it. Do you know about loss? Do you, Mike?”