The Queen & the Homo Jock King (At First Sight 2)

Which were a lot of parts.

What a terrible thing to happen to me.

And here he was, saying the mistakes of the past were changed by the reflections of the future. Or something. I didn’t know. I was too busy wondering if movies were realistic in that people who threw themselves from moving vehicles were able to get up and run with hardly any injuries at all. I would have to tuck and roll, but I was used to tucking as it was, so it was no skin off my penis.

I reached for the door handle. Of course, that’s when we crossed onto a bridge with a long drop below to a dry riverbed.

“Fuck my life,” I groaned without even meaning to.

“What’s going on?” He glanced at me.

“Nothing!” I said, and my voice absolutely did not squeak. “Nothing. Everything is… just fine. I’m fine. You’re fine.” I coughed in horror. I hoped it looked like a normal cough to Darren and not a horror cough. “I mean, you know, not like fine, but like, good. We’re both good and everything is fine. We’re just two people driving on a Saturday. A Saturday drive because it’s a nice autumn day with no water below to break my fall should I jump out of a moving car.”

He eyed me warily. “Did you smoke crack in the bathroom and it’s just starting to hit you now? Because that’s really the only explanation I can come up with for why you’re sweaty and your eyes are bugging out of your head.”

“Do I look like I’d do bathroom crack?” I snapped at him. Then, “Wait. Don’t answer that. Also, you never tell a lady she looks sweaty. Even if said lady is sweating her balls off. It’s rude and I will fucking cut you if you say that again. And I don’t have buggy eyes, you overgrown meatsack.”

He laughed, and his shoulders lost some of the tension they’d carried since he’d picked me up. It should have put me at ease, to hear that sound from him, but it just made things worse. I was in over my head and I didn’t know how I was going to get out of this without it blowing up in my face.

“Are we really going to do this?” he asked, and for a moment, I thought he could see into my head where I was currently stuck in a vision of where I was sitting on his face while he licked my taint on a beach somewhere in Los Cabos while I sipped a margarita out of a glass the size of a goldfish bowl. It was all very detailed and I might have had no idea how I’d gotten there in the first place.

“If you’re flexible,” I said, my voice sex-deep, Helena purring.

“For the drag show?” he asked, tongue darting out and wetting his lips.

“Exactly.” I cleared my throat, trying to shove Helena as far away as I could. If she had her way, we’d be pulled over on the side of the road showing Darren what a lack of a gag reflex looks like. I didn’t think this was the time nor the place for it.

I really needed to get home and untape my penis.

“Nothing too overboard.” He narrowed his eyes at me.

“Baby doll,” I said. “I’m a drag queen. There’s no possible way it won’t be too overboard. How do you feel about sequins?”

“Against.”

“Feathers?”

“Apathetic.”

“Assless chaps and then we bedazzle your butt cheeks?”

He groaned again. “Do you see what I do for you? Anyone else, and I’d have left you high and dry a long time ago.”

There was a strange buzzing in my ears and my breath caught in my chest. “And why is that?” I managed to ask.

“What?”

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“Why are you doing this for me? Anyone else, you wouldn’t. Why this?” I didn’t even try to hide how breathless I sounded.

“Rule ten,” he said, not looking over at me. “You agreed.”

You don’t get to ask me that.

I nodded, somewhat flustered.

We rode in silence for a while.