The Queen & the Homo Jock King (At First Sight 2)

Darren: FAKE DATING

Me: Oh

Me: Right

Me: No, no problems

Me: It’ll be like we told your dad

Me: Just for the money

Me: Vince won’t care

Darren: I was more worried about Paul and Corey

Me: They are vicious little things, aren’t they?

Darren: That’s probably an understatement

Darren: Did I tell you Paul called me?

Me: What? When?

Darren: The day after they caught us in the Lair

Me: He did?!?! What did he say????

Darren: He threatened me

Me: HE WHAT

Darren: Said if I ever hurt you, he’d come after me

Darren: and murder me. Then use acid to melt the remains

Darren: and that he would laugh while doing it.

Darren: He said he wouldn’t feel bad at all

Darren: And that he probably wouldn’t even get caught

Me: WHAT

Darren: I’ll admit. I was almost scared

Darren: And then Johnny Depp started screaming that Paul was raping him

Darren: And that someone needed to save him from Paul’s pencil dick

Darren: I told him I wasn’t scared of him anymore

Darren: So he hung up on me

Me: WHAT THE HELL

Darren: So. That’s your best friend

Darren: Murderer and bird rapist