Until You (At First Sight 3)
“Seriously! What does he think he’s doing? What’s his endgame?”
“To… marry you?”
“He could do so much better! I mean, have you seen him?”
The skin under his left eye twitched. “Several times.”
“So he’s got to have some diabolical plot, right? Or at least that’s what I thought. And then I began to think that of course he’s not like that. First and foremost, that would require forethought, and I really don’t know if he even knows what that means.”
“He’s far too precious for this world,” Sandy agreed.
“So now, the only thing that makes sense is that he somehow blurted out that he wanted to marry me, and just happened to do it at the most awkward brunch ever—”
“I can’t believe how much bacon my one-night stand ate. How he keeps that ass, I’ll never know.”
“—and now he’s trapped in something he didn’t really want to begin with and has to follow through with it because he knows Nana would hunt him down and string him up by the balls.”
“Was she really a bounty hunter in the seventies?” Sandy asked.
“She says she was,” I said. “I asked Mom about it, and she said the seventies were a weird time for everyone so she couldn’t say for sure.”
“God, I can’t wait to be like that woman when I grow up,” Sandy said. “And also, shut up.”
“Excuse me?”
“Paul. Vince loves you. He loves you more than anything else in the world. He might even love you almost as much as I do. All anyone has to do is see the look on his face when they talk about you and they’ll know. It’s disgusting and gives me cavities, but that man worships the ground you walk on. Don’t you dare think otherwise.”
“I want to hug you right now.”
“I’m doing my nails.”
“Hence why I’m not hugging you. I do want to keep my testicles where they are.”
“Good boy.”
“You know that it’s pretty much the same for you, right? For you and Darren.”
Sandy made a face at that. “Dare and I are nowhere near your level of romantic idiocy. And we never will be. It works for us, and I think I’d rather choke myself with cat hair than ever be compared to you and Vince. You and Vince are so sweet to each other, it’s like watching elephants give birth to baby elephants.”
“That’s not even remotely close to what it’s like. I don’t even know why you would say that.”
He ignored me. “Dare and I have built our relationship by being mean to each other. I can bitch at him, he can bitch at me, and then I fuck him or ride him like a prize bull and we’re good.”
That was an image I could do without. “Except I was there when you blurted out you loved him, and then he tackled you and you guys were eating each other’s faces in front my parents and his mom.”
Sandy sniffed. “I can’t help wh
en I have to announce my feelings. It’s all part of being a drag queen.”
“I don’t think that’s really true—”
“Anyway, we’re not talking about me and Darren. He and I aren’t getting married—”
“Yet,” I coughed.
“I will fuck you up, you little bitch, don’t think I won’t. We’re talking about you and Vince, and how that man loves you. And you obviously love him enough to get married at a goddamn horse farm of all places, which, again, I believe I must protest.”
I rolled my eyes. “Too late. Deposit already in place. And it’s not a horse farm. It’s a twenty-acre horse ranch with intrinsic beauty, rich history, and multiple facilities that make the ranch a perfect place to hold unforgettable events. Their all-inclusive packages make wedding planning—”