Into This River I Drown

“For this place. For these people. For you. Most of all, I thanked him for you.” He takes a deep breath. “Are you scared?”

I don’t hesitate. “Yes, but not of you. If there’s anything I’m sure of, it’s you. All the rest we’ll take as it comes. Together. If we’re called to fight, we’ll do it together.”

Moments before we see the sun, Cal says, “I love you.”

“I know,” I say as I smile. “I love you too.

“What happens next?” he asks. He doesn’t sound worried.

I kiss him sweetly and feel him press his tongue against mine. He curls his hand around the back of my head, and I feel like fire. I pull away, but only just. “We live,” I tell him before falling back into the kiss.

The sun rises over the mountains, bringing with it the dawn of a new day. And it’s enough.

My name is Benjamin Edward Green, after my father, our first and middle

names transposed. People call me Benji. Big Eddie wanted me to carry his name, but felt I should have my own identity, hence the switch. I don’t mind, knowing it will always bind us together. It’s a gift, and because of him, I’ve been able to find my life again. I’ve been able to find meaning in all the colors of the world. Because of him, I’ve found my home.

This is at once the end and the beginning.

This is the story of my love of two men.

One is my father.

The other is a man who fell from the sky.