Into This River I Drown
“Big order?”
She shrugs. “I guess. The coordinators want pies. Lots of pies. More than last year. Apparently summer means pie.”
“That’s good,” I say, glancing out the window again, craning my neck to see down the street further.
“Looking for something?” she asks. “Or someone?”
I eye her warily. “I’m pretty sure I don’t know what you mean.”
“I’m pretty sure you do.”
I groan. “Did he get you too?”
She shakes her head. “No, but he’s made quite the splash. It’s all anyone would talk about. And imagine my surprise when everyone started asking me questions. Questions I had no idea how to answer. How did Benji and Cal meet? How long is C
al staying? Are they serious?”
“Mom, it’s not like—”
She interrupts me. “Do you care for him?”
“Well… yeah, I guess. He’s my friend.” My weird, weird friend who fell out of the sky.
“Friend?” There’s too much emphasis on that word. I know what she means.
I blush. “It’s not like that,” I try again.
“It’s not?”
“No.”
“Does he know that?”
“Cal’s just… really friendly.”
“Friendly isn’t going around telling people that you belong to him,” she points out.
I wince. “He has a tendency to speak like he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah.”
“And he was out… what? Shopping for clothes that you told him he needed to get?”
I hate small towns. “Mom, it’s not what you think.” Then I stop and think about it for a moment and allow myself to get angry. “And even if it was, what business is it of yours? I’m twenty-one. I live in my own house, under my own roof. My life is my life.”
“I’m not questioning that, Benji,” she sighs. “I know that. Trust me, out of everyone in the world, I know that probably better than anyone. And I’m not trying to…. Benji, I’m just worried.”
“About what?”
She turns and looks out the window, staring down Poplar Street. “Regardless of our standing in this town, regardless of what goodwill your father left us, this is still a small town. There’s going to be prejudice here. You have to know that.” “There will be prejudice wherever I go.”
“That’s not the point,” she snaps without looking at me.
“Mom, no one gives two shits about me. They could—”
fucking faggots why don’t we just kill them now