Lady Lovett's Little Dilemma

“Cressida is an angel. I’d trust her with my life, but since you are concerned that she mixes with some of the parties concerned in my investigation I assure you that my lips are sealed.”

“Cressida is a lucky woman.”

He glanced at Mariah’s face, serene and faintly sympathetic in the light cast by the Argand light on the low table nearby. He did not think jealousy was behind the faint contempt he sensed. Mariah and he had shared similar interests and an affectionate rather than passionate physical relationship all those years ago. He’d been generous when he’d given Mariah her congé but she’d already proved she could do better, having married the much wealthier Lord Grainger nine years earlier. It was, initially, for Justin’s legal expertise that Mariah had turned to him when her marriage to the ageing peer had been in its final stages of disintegration, and the once-famous singer had been struggling to maintain her dignity in the face of Grainger’s shocking treatment of her. Mariah had given the youthful Justin her loyalty and her gratitude for his friendship. Much later she’d given him her body, but never a hint as to the reasons for her humiliating divorce. Not all of them, anyway.

“It seems Cressida would rather put you through the mill than offer a reasonable argument for her cruelty.” Mariah looked so disdainful that Justin laughed. “You always were my champion, my dear Mariah,” he said, “but since you have never met my wife I beg you to refrain from passing judgement. I must be blamed for this erroneous perception of her, for, I assure you, a man could have no better a wife.” Smiling, refusing to countenance the churning in his breast, he added, “Cressida is the most conscientious of mothers. It is a trial and a sadness that our youngest is not robust, but I will not hear Cressida criticised for choosing her son’s comfort over mine, on occasion.”

“Perceptions matter as much as the truth.” Mariah fixed him with a direct look. “The word about town is that Lady Lovett has not been seen more than three times by your side during the last year. You are lonely, Justin.”

The concern in her expression was genuine, not a gambit for offering him the solace of her charms.

Indeed, it was on account of his genuine liking and respect for his old friend and former mistress that Justin allowed her to persist with the subject.

“Have you ever suspected there might be someone else, Justin?”

When he shook his head she countered, gently, “I was married to Lord Grainger for nine years. I thought I knew him better than I knew myself. It was only in the final year of our marriage that I discovered I did not know him at all.”

This was not the time to question Mariah about her husband. Justin rose and went to the window. “As I have already made plain, Mariah, nothing stands between Cressida and me except”—holding back the curtain he stared into the moonless night—“the children.” It was the first time he’d put it into words. A vision of their young, happy faces blurred in his mind. Unhappily he added, “They are everything to her.”

“Children play an essential part in the success of a marriage, as I well know—” her voice wavered—“but they cannot provide her with everything she needs, Justin.”

He glanced over his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mariah, it was thoughtless of me—”

“You are too sensitive if you thought your words implied that, just as your many children may be the reason for your troubles, the lack of children was the entire reason for my divorce and current situation.”

He no longer wanted to pursue this line. Mariah was quite likely to prise from him deeper pain and grievances than he wished to articulate.

“Cressida has given me four healthy daughters and a son, yet I am as drawn by her beguiling charm as I was the day we met.” He realised the words sounded trite and rehearsed. Forcing himself to cast aside his despondency, he began to pace. “She is an extraordinary woman and, just as she is devoted to family life, I am devoted to her.”

Mariah gave a desultory little clap. “Bravo, Justin. Would that all husbands were as loyal to their wives as you are to your Cressida. I hope she may yet prove she deserves you.”

From the window embrasure, Justin turned. “She does so every day. Cressida is kind and gentle and it is only natural that with the arrival of so many in the nursery she is less driven by the carnal desires which curse we men.” With a restless sigh, he returned to the sofa, giving Mariah a rueful smile. “You sought my services in the hope I might put an end to your pain and suffering by at least supplying you with an answer to the one question that has haunted you for eighteen years—the identity and location of your daughter.” Taking her hand, he squeezed it lightly. “Though so different from my wife, you are a woman, Mariah, who craves the same things Cressida does, the joy of seeing one’s children grow. Ironically, Cressida has this in such abundance she no longer needs me as much as she once did. I have her love and affection and I tell myself it should be enough.” He shrugged, as if it didn’t hurt. “I’m following your investigation for you as a friend and, as discussed, I refuse payment for these services. But…” He dissembled, unsure where his thoughts were taking him. Deciding there was no need to censor the activity of his brain, he proceeded with unusual recklessness, his throat suddenly dry as he realised how much he wanted advice. “But, Mariah, as a friend, and a woman experienced in life’s sorrows and disappointments, perhaps I could ask from you some small payment? Perhaps you could tell me plainly if you believe all hope is lost.” He hesitated. “And, if not, suggest how I might rekindle my wife’s desire?”

Mariah’s look was kind. In the manner of her countrywomen she gave an expressive shrug. “Have you tried talking to her? That’s always a good beginning.”

“I hear the irony in your tone, and I concede that words are the obvious, but sometimes the hardest, way to begin.” Frustrated, he added, “Cressida knew nothing about relations between men and women when I married her, though she seemed to have no aversion to her…bedroom duties.” With a pang of remembered longing, he reflected upon her unexpected enthusiasm and the heights of passion that had quickly elevated their relationship beyond the early kindling of their love.

Until Thomas’ birth. No… He frowned, thinking. She had withdrawn before that. With three children in the nursery, her wifely devotion

s had swung definitely in favour of motherly duties, though it was only in the past ten months she had developed the regular megrims that seemed to coincide with his visits to her bedchamber.

“Cressida was obviously born to be a mother.” He raked his hand through his hair. The evening had been most unsatisfactory. He could tell Mariah nothing that would give her comfort with regard to her search for her lost child, meanwhile Mariah’s mild criticism of Cressida made him reluctant to pursue a discussion on the marital problems that neither he nor his wife seemed able to discuss.

He drew down his demi-mask as he prepared to leave, returning to the subject of the business that had first brought them together. “I shall bring with me next time a list of the children who were admitted and removed from the Sedleywich Home for Orphans in the years in which you are interested, Mariah. My report is begun and I am following your lead, though I must tell you now, if your suspicion is correct, great effort has gone into muddying the trail that might identify your daughter’s new identity.”

Mariah sent him a grateful look. “You are a good man, Justin, and you have always been kind to me. If I can do anything in return it would be to suggest that you return home, take your wife in your arms, and ask her what is troubling her.”

Chapter Four

Lady Belton’s masquerade seemed a distant memory but the pain of what Cressida had learned the previous Saturday—four long days ago—was like a niggling boil that tonight must be lanced.

Regardless of the truth, people were talking. Catherine had said so. Cressida could either resign herself to being an object of gossip, or try to discover the truth for herself. She’d hoped to confront her husband directly but she did not have the fortitude for how disappointed Justin would be in her if he knew she seriously doubted his constancy.

That was what she’d come to verify tonight—and didn’t it make her feel a thief in the night? Justin’s love she knew she had in abundance, but his constancy…? If he had strayed, she had only herself to blame.

Staring up at the unassuming four square house in a part of town where no self-respecting woman would be seen dead, she reflected on a boldness she’d not dreamed she possessed. After exhorting Cressida to learn the truth for herself, Catherine had then told her to accept the inevitable as she had done years ago. Although Cressida was timid by nature, and certainly compared with Cousin Catherine, she could not allow Catherine to complacently brand Justin as no better than any other man.

The ring of the horses’ hooves as the hackney disappeared around the corner was the loneliest, most frightening noise she had ever heard. In her whole life she’d never been alone in the dark. Nannies, governesses, Justin and then children had accompanied her everywhere.