Wild At Heart (Wild 2)

But what is Marie doing at our house at 6:45 a.m.? Does this have something to do with Oscar? As far as I know, the wolf dog is back home with Roy, slowly healing from his leg wound.

“… and then everything blew up from there.” Jonah’s voice carries from the gaping hangar door, stalling my feet.

“So, I guess you didn’t get a chance to ask her, then.” Marie’s soft, sympathetic voice answers

“You kidding? There wasn’t exactly a way to segue back to marriage after that.”

It’s clear they’re talking about what happened yesterday. Jonah must have told Marie he was going to propose. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. She’s his closest friend. And yet, an unpleasant feeling settles in the pit of my stomach, knowing that he has obviously divulged the pregnancy scare to her as well. It feels like a betrayal of confidence. It’s something private between the two of us that we haven’t fully discussed, and yet here he is, talking about it with her.

That’s why Marie is here. Jonah must have called her. He needed to talk about it with someone who isn’t me.

Hurt pricks my chest as I edge in closer and eavesdrop shamelessly.

Jonah sighs. “I’ve never seen her like that before. I mean, I’ve seen her snap plenty, believe me … but this was somethin’ else.”

“She is only twenty-six, Jonah. And she’s gone through a lot in the past year. Her whole life has been turned over, more than once. She’s obviously not ready to have it flipped again yet. Cut her some slack.”

Yes! Exactly!

“No shit.” He snorts. “But five or six years? I’ll be almost forty.”

“You’re not that old,” Marie chides.

“I will be if it turns into eight or nine. And it might. You should have seen her, Marie. It was like the idea of being pregnant was a death sentence.”

I feel my cheeks flame. I know having children is important to Jonah, but he told me it was okay that I wasn’t ready, that I shouldn’t apologize for not being ready.

Was he lying to me when he said that?

“Or it could turn into two or three years, once she settles and her priorities change,” Marie counters. “Don’t forget, when you met her, she was living at home with her parents. Her focus was on looking good and going out to clubs.”

Is that what Marie thinks of me?

“But, Jonah, you haven’t even started trying to have kids. What if she ends up not being able to at all? What are you going to do then—divorce her?” There’s an accusatory tone in Marie’s voice, almost a challenge to admit he’d be so callous, and my heart softens for her again.

“Fuck, of course not! I just …” His voice trails for a long stretch. “Maybe I am moving too fast.”

No! No, you aren’t! I want to cry out. I mean, it is fast, but I’m ready for this, for us. I never realized how ready I was until that ring fell out of his pocket.

“Yeah, you’re not known for your patience,” Marie says, and I hear the smile. “But you can’t help it. You’re so passionate when it comes to someone or something that’s important to you.” There’s a pause, and when she speaks again, there’s a hint of yearning in her soft voice. “It’s one of the things I’ve always loved about you, Jonah.”

Despite Marie’s earlier words of

seeming support for me, a wave of jealousy burns my insides, hearing her remind him in a not-so-subtle way that, yes, they may be just friends but she’s still waiting on the sidelines for a chance at more. I’m sure Marie would be more than happy to deliver Jonah’s baby on the ground of the hangar right here, right now, given the opportunity. That I’m not ready feels like a strike against me, a competitive edge that she has over me, even though the diamond ring in Jonah’s pocket is meant for my finger.

“Marie, you know how I feel about Calla—”

“Of course. I wasn’t trying to …” Her words drift. “I care about you, and I only ever want to see you happy.”

“I know, and I am happy.”

“Are you, though? Completely? Are you happy turning down jobs because you’re afraid to leave your girlfriend alone?”

Jonah’s been turning down jobs because of me? What jobs?

“It’s not like that. I promised Calla I wouldn’t drag her all the way out here and then take off for days at a time.”

“And how long is she going to hold you to that?”