C is for Carter

It was one of the defining moments in our lives. Deacon, Everett, and I were bonded by that moment forever.

Now we were going to start a company together, doing something that I knew very well. My family had been lumberjacks and loggers from way back. I’d grown up around it and understood it. Owning as much land as I did, both inherited and bought, I had a lot of built-in material to start with.

As I drove, my mind on the business my friends and I were starting, I found myself driving by the plot of land where we were going to start the business office. I pulled in and turned off the engine, leaving the battery on to play the music softly. Stepping out into the light rain that was beginning to fall, I looked out over what would eventually be our company’s home base.

All that was there now was a plot of dirt with a bunch of equipment, a trailer, and an outhouse. The land the company bought, including land I brought in from my own purchases in the surrounding mountain, flowed out around it. The sun was setting behind the mountains to the west, and I stuck my hands in my pockets to take in the surroundings.

Everything looked good. Promising. Exciting. I was getting itchy to get things started. There was so much left to do, and at the same time, I knew how fast it would all happen. Once it got going, we were going to be working hard and constantly. And we would be doing it together. As a team.

“Soon,” I said to the mountains and the ground. I kicked some dirt up and smiled. “Soon.”

As I got back in the truck, that smile stayed on my face. It stayed on as I wound back to town and the entrance to the mountain I lived on, several miles away. It stayed on as I wound up the mountain and pulled into my long, wooded driveway. It stayed on and got bigger when I opened the door and my dogs barked happily, excited to see me home and wanting to go out.

I grabbed their leashes, and we went outside for a walk.

Once we were far enough away from the driveway, I pulled them close and unhooked their leashes. Obediently, they stayed where they were until I was ready and nodded to them. Then they were off, running into the woods happily, barking and jumping on each other. I smiled watching them.

Life was good. With everything I had been through in my life, it had led me here, to my cabin in the woods with my dogs and enough money that I didn’t have to worry about bills. It led to my closest and most loyal friends moving down to start a logging company with me, an adventure I would be able to start the next day and how lucky I was to have that support and opportunity.

But there was something missing, and I couldn’t deny it. As much as I was going to enjoy having my friends working with me, and as sweet and nice as Harleigh and Brett had been along with their friends Aiden and Desiree, who I had become good friends with as well, it still left me going home alone at night.

I found myself so happy for Brett and Aiden. They’d found their person, someone who loved them, and they loved and started families with. But I was a little jealous too. I wanted that for myself. I was lonely. Having all this good grace, all this land, and life, I wanted to share it with someone.

The dogs came bounding back after a little bit and followed me as we hiked up the mountain. There was a landing that I enjoyed sitting on where I liked to spend time looking out over the valley below. It was also a test for my knee, making sure I was good to climb the steep hill and not feel too much pain. The more I kept myself doing stuff like this, the longer I could ward off decline.

I made it up the hill with minimal grunting and almost no cursing. The dogs happily lay down as I sat on the rock that I internally referred to as my mountain throne. It looked like a wide-seated chair, and I leaned back into it to relax.

One day, hopefully, I would bring a family up this way. Show them the valley as the sun began to set and the leaves changed in the golden light. I would share the peace and serenity that came from the chatter of nature around me, the tumbling brook nearby that ran all the way down the mountain and where you could reach in and drink the cold water right from your hand. I would bring them there and camp, watching the sun set and then rise over the horizons on either side. It would be magic.