The Prince of Pleasure (Notorious 5)

"You only believed him because I didn't deny it."

Dare's mouth curled sardonically. "And I suppose I was predisposed to think you guilty. My mother had countless lovers during the course of her marriage. She came from a generation that raised infidelity to a fine art, and I grew up believing it the natural way of things. But I should have known you weren't like her."

His tone turned darker, bleaker. "I should have suspected my grandfather's machinations. I was the fool-for not realizing the lengths he would go to in order to have his way. And then I left you to deal with the aftermath alone. He destroyed your life, but I let it happen. I should have protected you."

"You would have, had you known, I'm certain of it."

He gave a bitter laugh. "At the time I was only concerned about surviving my own wounds. All I wanted was to get as far away from you as possible. If I had remained… at least I could have saved you from the damage my grandfather inflicted on your reputation afterward. Your sales clerk told me he ruined your business and drove you to leave town."

"Yes. I had no resources to fight him, and I had my mother to support. But I couldn't hope for any respectable employment after he tore my name to shreds."

"So you turned to acting."

"That actually was the one good thing to come of the calamity, Dare." A faint smile curved her mouth. "I found a vocation-something I truly love doing. Acting proved my salvation. It helped me banish my demons."

"But then you were forced to take a protector," Dare said, his voice ragged.

Julienne was glad the lamplight was not overly bright, for the flush of shame on her cheeks would have been even more noticeable. "It wasn't… It was simply something I had to do. And after losing you, nothing much could hurt me. The gentleman I chose… he was very kind. It made it easier to give my body for money."

Fresh tears scalded her eyes as she remembered. She had thought she might die from a grief-stricken heart, but the struggle to survive had given her a reason to goon.

She had eventually managed to overcome the darkness and shame that had nearly swallowed her. In time she had even healed from the brutal ordeal. Ivers had violated her body, but he hadn't touched the core of her.

He hadn't destroyed her physical need for passion, either. It had helped that her gentle protector had banished the last vestiges of her fear. But Dare had been the one to show her what true ecstasy was. What it was to feel truly alive. Because of him, she knew that lovemaking had nothing to do with the act of violence that had been perpetrated against her.

She reached up to touch his cheek. "There were some things about that summer that I never regretted. You taught me about love, about passion. Without that, I never could have overcome the rest."

He squeezed his eyes shut, as if he couldn't bear to accept her forgiveness. "You can't absolve me of guilt, Julienne."

The look of pain on Dare's face made her heart ache. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and help him find peace. He was holding her so gently, as if she were made of fragile glass, as if he feared to touch her.

Lifting her face, she pressed her lips against his. "Dare… make love to me."

He drew back to stare at her. "How can you possibly want me after what I did to you?"

Julienne had to smile just a little. All she could think of was how fervently she wanted Dare, how much she needed him. She needed him to exorcise her dark memories. Needed him to drive away the terrible loneliness of the past years.

In answer, she reached up to caress his cheek, feeling the day's stubble that roughened his jaw. "How can I possibly not want you?" she asked, raising her lips to his again.

His mouth descended on hers fervently, his kiss desperate, as if he needed her to save his soul. With their lips still joined, he lifted her in his arms and carried her into the adjacent chamber, where he lay her down on the narrow bed.

In the glow of the fire, he undressed her, but his touch was tentative-nothing like that of the passionate lover who had become a legend. And when she was fully naked, he sat beside her, hesitating.

"Dare… I won't break," Julienne murmured restlessly.

Perhaps not, he thought, but he felt as raw and uncertain as a boy with his first love.

As if understanding, she sat up and cupped his face in her hands. "You won't hurt me," she whispered. "You could never hurt me."

Dare nearly groaned as his heart twisted in his chest. She was trying to console him.

She kissed him tenderly, letting her warm mouth linger against his as she untied his cravat and let it drop to the floor. He drank in her kiss but then took over from her, removing his jacket himself.

While he unfastened the buttons of his waistcoat, Julienne rose from the bed and went to her bureau, where she made use of the coffer of sponges and unpinned her hair. His gaze remained riveted on her as the silken mass fell down her back.

When she returned, she finished undressing Dare, kneeling beside the bed to remove his boots and then his breeches. He reached for her then, but with her hands on his shoulders, she urged him to lie back. "No, I want to do this… please."

He lay back, quiescent, instinctively understanding her need to be in control, to prove she wasn't powerless or helpless or vulnerable.