Moonwitch

She couldn’t stay there any longer, Selena thought. Not without doing something foolish, like pressing herself against his muscular chest and raising her lips for his kiss. But when she made to pass him, Kyle reached out a hand to stay her.

“Selena… I need to talk to you later.”

Disturbed by his touch, Selena looked down and found herself staring at his hands—strong, callused hands that had the power to tame a wildly plunging ship yet could be gentle and caressing and arousing....

Arousing not just herself, Selena remembered, but someone named Veronique. And Angel. And perhaps someone named Danielle.

She wanted desperately to know about Danielle—or rather she wanted Kyle to reassure her that there was nothing to substantiate her jealous imaginings. But she hadn’t seen him alone until now. Kyle had missed tea, only returning from town shortly before supper.

Selena took a deep breath, summoning her courage. “Bea wouldn’t discuss Danielle. She told me to ask you.”

Kyle released her arm as if he had been burned, his expression wary and oddly grim at the same time. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

She waited expectantly, watching him, but he didn’t say anything more. Instead he looked away, avoiding her gaze. “I don’t know how to say this.” Finally, after glancing at his sister’s closed door, he turned back to Selena, meeting her gaze directly. “We can’t discuss it here.”

She wouldn’t like what he was going to tell her, she could see it on his face. “Where can we discuss it?” Selena asked quietly.

He raked a hand through his chestnut hair in agitation. “Devil take it.” Then, “Very well, come with me.” Grasping her hand, he pulled Selena down the hall into a deserted bedchamber and shut the door behind him.

The windows were shuttered against the setting rays of the sun, and the unlighted room was dim. Selena had difficulty reading Kyle’s expression, but she could see his features were taut with some kind of emotional struggle.

“There just isn’t any good way to say this,” he muttered, again running his fingers through his hair.

His hesitation was beginning to alarm her. “Perhaps you should just tell me outright.”

“Very well. You have a right to know.” His voice was so low Selena hardly heard. “Danielle…Danielle is the mother of my son.”

Chapter Eleven

Selena stared at Kyle, feeling as if the breath had been knocked from her body. It shouldn’t have been so painful discovering that Kyle had a son, some small part of her mind rationalized. She belonged to a privileged class where gentlemen frequently sired children outside of marriage, where ladies turned a blind eye to their husbands’ transgressions. She had always believed herself willing to accept this. But somehow it was different now—when it was Kyle. Stunned, sickened, Selena regarded him without speaking. Was it her feelings for him that made such bitter jealousy twist her heart?

“Selena…don’t… Please don’t look that way.”

Shakily, she raised a hand to her temple. Kyle wasn’t trying to hurt her, she realized. The rigid muscles of his jaw showed his dismay clearly.

“Look… I didn’t mean to bring it up now… It came out all wrong—”

He broke off as a soft rap sounded at the door. When Zoe called to them, asking if they were coming down to supper, Kyle muttered a frustrated oath under his breath and answered curtly that yes, they would be down in a minute. Then he peered down at Selena with concern. “Can we talk about this after supper?”

Selena nodded. Perhaps there was an explanation…mitigating circumstances that would make the fact that Kyle had a son less painful to accept. And if not, by then she at least would have had time to collect herself.

She managed to school her facial muscles into a semblance of equanimity as they returned to the dining room, but the sparkle had gone out of the evening for her. Indeed, the whole company was

subdued. Lydia quietly apologized to her sister and lapsed into silence, and even chatterbox Felicity, who had caused the initial contretemps, found little to say. It was left for Thaddeus and Bea to carry the conversation. Selena was grateful when Kyle ordered a servant to refill everyone’s glass so they could drink a toast to Bea’s expected child, for the wine helped calm the turmoil she was feeling.

Kyle had intended just that, judging that Selena needed something to help sustain her nerves. He wasn’t fooled by her apparent composure. She had been shocked and hurt by his disclosure, he knew. He hadn’t expected that reaction. Anger, perhaps. Scorn, haughtiness, certainly stiffness. Those he could have contended with. But not her look of wounded distress, which made him feel as if he were tormenting something weak and fragile.

Concerned, he glanced at the far end of the table, where Selena was sitting so quietly. She seemed shaken and withdrawn, and the sight tugged at his heart. He wished there had been some way to spare her, but she would have heard the rumors sooner or later. With Bea’s help he had managed to keep the knowledge of his impropriety from the tender ears of his younger sisters, but there were a dozen well-meaning citizens in the district who would have made sure Selena heard every sordid word of gossip and innuendo. No, it was better that the story came from him.

He hadn’t handled it at all well, Kyle thought, watching her over the rim of his glass. But then, was there any good way to tell your wife that you had sired a child with a married woman you barely knew? Put that baldly, it sounded terrible. But it hadn’t really been like that.

And he had paid for his sin in his own way—and was still paying. Repressing the rumors had meant he couldn’t lavish affection on his offspring, which was a father’s right. For Danielle’s sake, he had struggled to quell his own need to be with his son, his yearning to share the joys and trials of Clay’s boyhood, to watch him grow, to teach and guide him.

At least Danielle hadn’t suffered too greatly. There had been gossip, but no one had ever been able to prove that Danielle’s invalid husband wasn’t capable of fathering a child. Jeremiah had supported their story with bitter magnanimity because of his deep love for Danielle, saying he couldn’t begrudge her a child when he could no longer be a husband to her.

But now Selena would have to be told the truth. Kyle’s fingers tightened around his wineglass. She didn’t deserve to be confronted with this, he thought grimly. It wasn’t fair to her. It wasn’t fair, either, to expect her to care for his sisters. But she would be a good mother to them. He had already come to admire her courage and resilience, and seeing her with the girls, he was learning the extent of her kindness and her generous heart. He could only trust and hope Selena would extend the same generosity to him.

When supper ended, the ladies removed to the drawing room while the gentlemen remained at the table. Over a glass of port, Thaddeus shared all the news and events that had occurred since Kyle’s last visit four months ago. Kyle wasn’t much interested in how many acts the General Assembly had passed or what issues the legislature planned to address, but he hung on every word, wanting to draw out the interval as long as possible. When it was time to join the ladies, he drained his glass, feeling the need to bolster his courage for the upcoming ordeal with Selena.