Turner hadn’t come by, nor did he come to Violet’s house that night. And I found myself disappointed.
My eyes closed that night, not sure what tomorrow would bring.
Fingers stroked my core, making me moan as soft lips nibbled insistently at my pulse point. For a second, I thought he might bite me as his teeth grazed my neck.
Desire for him raged like a wildfire and I didn’t care if he drew blood. I needed him like I needed to draw breath. I ached so much as I watched him take a step back.
Slowly, like he enjoyed me watching him, he unbuttoned his shirt. It parted, revealing a muscled chest that belonged in magazines. When it hit the floor, I was practically drooling for the main event.
He flicked open the top of his pants and they hung on the edge of his hips. A deep V of corded muscles aimed at my most wanted desire. I was on the verge of begging him to fill me with that hard cock of his, drawing pleasure on the knife’s edge of pain. How could one man give me such intense feelings that sent me into bliss every time?
“Kalen,” I cried out.
My eyes flew open as thunder cracked the air. I swallowed down the memory of the man I could never have as the sound of water pellets beat against the window like it wanted inside.
One might think that with rain it would be like a day off. But it wasn’t. Many chores still needed doing regardless of the weather, and others were just moved indoors.
My arms ached from the work I’d done the day before yesterday, so I opted to review the ledgers. I wondered how the community leaders would feel if I suggested doing the books on a computer instead of paper. It wasn’t like they were completely against technology.
Turner blew in the door at lunch. He closed us in the tiny office while noise from conversations in the classroom hid everything we said.
He planted himself at the edge of my desk. Arms folded, he stared at me for a long moment. I kept quiet, waiting for him to speak. He called my bluff and held out for me to break first. No doubt he’d figured out that I was avoiding him. But I wasn’t going to capitulate. I grabbed a roll from the basket he brought and bit off a chunk.
Though he tried not to, his quick smile turned to a laugh as he shook his head. His arms uncrossed, and he gently brushed strands of hair from my face. His lips were far too close and the warmth of him filled all the spaces around me.
“You know you can be honest with me,” he said.
It wasn’t something he needed to say, yet it was something I needed to hear. I let loose the breath that I’d been holding. “I’m afraid.”
Pinched or not, his smile was still friendly as he sat back. “Him?” The one-word question showed just how close we still were despite the time that put a wedge between us.
“I don’t want to hurt anyone, let alone you. What if—”
“Yeah, what if. What if the sky turned green? What if the moon turned red?” His words got softer as his head dipped. “What if we never found out if this was meant to be?”
There was no doubt about our feelings for each other. My only question was my feelings for Kalen. As much as I wanted to discount them because he’d moved on, better yet, I let him go. Like my mother said, it wouldn’t be fair to Turner if I was with him and carried a torch for another.
“Just give us a chance, Bails. Let’s go to the dance. No pressure.”
I looked up at him, thinking about how close we’d come to crossing a line that wasn’t casual the way we’d been raised. A roll in the hay between consenting adults was one thing. Sex with a former lover and friend was a totally different thing. It could never be merely casual.
His direct line into reading my emotions was still active because he said, “We don’t have to have sex.” He paused and stood up. “Don’t get me wrong. Every moment I’m around you, I want you. But I can wait.”
There, he’d done it. He’d said what I’d been unable to. It seemed like it was harder now to be so open with him. My guilt for leaving him so long ago made me question if he could ever trust me.
“Look,” he said. “I have a lot of things I need to do before I finish for the day. I’ll pick you up at Vi’s at sunset.”
He didn’t give me time to answer or to explain that I’d told my father I would leave. He pressed his lips to mine and strolled out the door. The sounds from the other room filled the brief silence before the door closed again. I peeked into the basket he’d brought and smiled. Talk about non-traditional roles. Wasn’t I the one supposed to bring him lunch?