She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not (The American Soldier Collection 8)
“Late at night, in my bedroom.”
His green eyes suddenly looked darker, his hand clutched her shoulder.
“Baby, you were—”
She nodded her head and he stopped talking and ran his hand over his face. Mace placed his hand against her cheek and she looked at him. He seemed genuinely upset.
“No wonder you’ve been scared to let us touch you.”
“I want you to,” she blurted out, and Mace squinted his eyes at her. She looked at Hunter and he held the same serious expression. She looked back at Mace.
“I haven’t been with anyone since it happened. I honestly never met anyone I wanted to be intimate with, until I met you and your brothers. That scares me for a whole lot of other reasons that even if I hadn’t been attacked and assaulted I would surely still feel.”
“It is a bit of a different relationship, Ellie, but it’s also very special. Four men to cater to your every whim, and to protect you, care and provide for you,” Hunter whispered as he caressed her neck by her ear.
She looked down at her hands.
“I want that. I want to feel safe and protected, loved and cherished. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I think that’s what scares me about liking you and your brothers.”
“What’s that?” Mace asked.
“I’m afraid that I’ll want too much. That I’ll become dependent on each of you and lose myself, my identity, and perhaps fail at recognizing the signs that say it’s over and the trust is lost.”
“Baby, there are no guarantees in life. But isn’t it better to try, to see where it leads, and perhaps have faith that the bond formed grows over time and nothing can break it?” Mace asked her.
“How do I do that? How do I take a chance when I’m so fearful?” Hunter placed his hand against her cheek. She locked gazes with him.
“I know exactly how you feel. That fear of failing, of never feeling whole again? I get it. I’ve been there. Hell, I’ve conditioned myself to not think or remember what it was like to have both legs. I’ve learned to deal with it, to overcome any obstacles or stereotypes that are out there because of the need I had inside to be whole again. You can’t give up, or not even try to open your heart again because of the past.”
She felt the tear roll down her cheek. He was so strong, so encouraging. “I wish I could be like you. Have your strength, your motivation and determination to succeed and to enjoy what life sends my way.”
“You can do it. We’ve all faced obstacles in our lives. We’ve been scarred on the inside or even the outside, but we don’t give up,” Mace stated.
She thought about what they were saying. They were so kind, so compassionate.
“I guess there’s this feeling that you could hurt me, and the fact that there are four of you, and you are each so intimidating and filled with muscles, it adds to the fears I have.”
“But we would never use our strength or our abilities to cause you pain or harm,” Hunter told her.
“But the fear is there, Hunter. It’s right there making me remember the night I was attacked, and the fact that a man I trusted did what he did to me.”
“Who attacked you, and forced themselves on you that night?” Hunter asked.
“Paul, my boyfriend.”
“Motherfucker,” Hunter exclaimed.
“And this fucking guy is bothering you now? He’s the one you have the order of protection against?” Mace asked, standing up and running his fingers through his hair.
“Please calm down. Please don’t do this. I need you to be calm and to understand.”
Hunter took both of her hands into his own. He gave them a squeeze, indicating for her to look him in the eyes.
“We will not let this asshole touch you. We’re going to work this out. We’re going to prove to you that with us is where you belong. That jerk broke the trust between you and corrupted it in the worse possible way. He is not a man. He’s a loser. We want you in our lives, and in our beds. We’ll fight for you, because you’re everything we’ve ever wanted and more.” He leaned forward and kissed her, taking her breath away and stealing her heart in a flash.
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