Thirty-five and Single

What has he told the guy about me?

“I’m at my sister’s,” I say. “I won’t be back in town tomorrow.”

I plan to call in sick tomorrow for work. I’m not up to people or a date. I hope this added complication may stall things.

“That’s fine. He can meet you up there. I’ll send you the details later.”

Before he can end the call, I say, “Joel.”

“Yeah.”

This is the hardest thing I’ve said to him yet.

“I hope we can still be friends.”

“I just want you to be happy,” he says.

I’m left feeling as unhappy as I’ve ever been. I can’t even get a little excited that I’m pregnant. I’ve lost the man I loved, and I’ve lost the man I love.

Chapter Twenty-Six

There’s nothing like hysterical crying to get you a same day appointment with your doctor. I hadn’t meant to cry, but when the receptionist said the first available appointment wasn’t for a few weeks, my emotions got the best of me.

At least my car purrs to life as I make the trip to the doctor’s office. I’m grateful to Amelia’s husband for starting up my car every now and again and making it possible for me to take myself to the appointment.

Amelia had offered to go with me, but I wanted to go on my own.

It had been hard seeing my gynecologist for my annual appointment the last time with pregnant women in the waiting room. I’d had to bite back tears and fight myself to keep from running out of there.

Now, I sit, hands clasped, waiting for my name to be called, cautiously optimistic. I thought about inviting Joel, but I didn’t. I decided it’s best for me to find out for sure before telling him the news.

By the time I leave the office, I’m a jumbled mess.

What I really want is to cancel the date. I don’t want anyone else but Joel. Maybe if I tell him my feelings, he’ll give me another chance.

“Just cancel,” Amelia says as we look through her closet for something for me to wear.

“I can’t,” I say.

“Why not?”

I look around, but the kiddos are nowhere in sight. They are outside with their dad in the pool.

“I gave my word.”

“And?” she asks.

“And.” I think about my conversations with Craig and Joel. Right or wrong, I don’t want to be another person who disappoints Joel. “He asked me for a favor, something he’s never done.”

“But you’re in love with him.”

“Exactly why I have to do it. If I give it a shot, and when it doesn’t work out, I tell him how I feel; maybe he’ll believe me.”

She pulls something out and I shake my head. “Too sexy.”

“And maybe if you tell him why you want to cancel, that will work too.”

She could be right.

“It’s not just that. Remember how he helped me move in?”

“Don’t I ever. Darren still gives me shit about that.” She laughs.

That’s how Joel and I met. He just came in and started helping and refused the money I offered him later.

“He’s cooked for me and given me the whole personal training thing without ever expecting anything in return. I can do this one thing for him.”

And damn if the waterworks don’t start. Amelia hugs me.

“It’s going to be fine. You’ve got Ella and me.”

I whirl around. “You didn’t tell her, did you?”

My older sister finds it hard to keep a secret. I will tell Ella after I figure out my life. Last thing I need is more advice. She’d probably want to set up another appointment with Madame Zelda. Though the woman might have been right about Paul, I’ll never admit that.

“No, I swear.” She holds up her hands when I narrow my eyes at her. “I swear, I haven’t. She’s got her own problems.”

I wonder about our baby sister, as I haven’t talked to her in days.

“What’s that?” I ask, while scanning her walk-in closet.

“She and Rog are taking a break. She was going to ask to crash at your place, but Missy showed up.”

“Melissa?”

She nods. Our wayward sister disappeared from our lives years ago. She occasionally checks in with Ella, but that’s it.

“Well, she can finally get her shot with Corey.”

Missy and I had fought over him. She claimed she saw him first, which is ridiculous considering we’d all grown up together and she’s five years younger than I am. Plus, Corey had rebuked her advances and told me. That’s how the war between us had begun.

Amelia belly laughs. “Corey would never…” She stops as if she’s sparing me grief.

It isn’t like I want Corey back, but the idea that he would date my sister bothers me.

“Yeah, I know.”

Though he had cheated on me, I don’t believe he would ever do that.

“In other news,” Amelia says. “How about this?”

It’s a little black dress with a slit up the left thigh.