Absolutely Mine

“I didn’t mean—”

The man could move. He had me on my feet, pulling me toward the door, stilling my tongue.

Tears pricked in my eyes as he was leading me out of his hotel room. He was probably taking me back to my friends, assuming they were still there. We’d been barhopping. Though I couldn’t tell you how many places we’d been. It was all a blur.

“I didn’t mean to say that,” I got out.

His hand dropped from the knob he had been about to turn.

He glanced back at me. “So you don’t love me?”

I opened my mouth maybe a half dozen times, shutting off the lie I’d wanted to say.

“We’re going to do this, right?”

I didn’t know what he meant. I was in a fog of colliding emotions as he held onto my hand, leading me like a lamb to slaughter. I was trying to retain the memory of him giving me the best damn orgasm of my life. Yes, I was a virgin. But I’d done things over the years. It felt like a dream when we ended up in a jewelry store. I was surely going to wake up in a heap in my hotel room. Eddie was not leading me to the chapel in the hotel. In fact, I laughed. Pragmatic, super-focused Eddie would never do anything so reckless.

“Do you have your ID?”

I didn’t remember my crossbody bag. Had I had it on me the entire time? I couldn’t remember, but it was there.

I pulled out the card carrier and remembered my iron clad fake ID made by an employee of the DMV who was a hacker extraordinaire. It had cost a lot, more than I could afford, but it had been worth every penny.

Eddie left me for a minute to talk to the lady. I overhead her saying they didn’t take walk-ins. But when we were led back a few minutes later, I guessed he told her it was all a big joke.

I was sober enough to know Eddie was not really going to marry me. Hell, this was a total dream. In fact, I laughed during the entire ceremony. If this was real, I was getting punk’d. This was some kind of game to make me feel better about losing my virginity. I couldn’t keep a straight face when I said I do.

It was his kiss that was real. It engulfed me in warmth like I was riding a cloud. I had no concept of time as we went back to his suite, gold bands on our finger, and I never wanted to wake up.

He walked me through a door with a bed that was fit for a king. He stood me in front of it and let his eyes trail down my body, taking in every inch.

Then his hands were on my thighs, skimming up the material of my skirt over my hips. He kept going, his hands guiding up the side of my ribs, his thumbs grazing over my nipples. Goosebumps erupted over my skin as I lifted my arms so he could drag the material over my head, exposing my breasts and letting the dress fall to the floor. I closed my eyes.

I wasn’t society’s perfect body type and used the last of the liquid courage I had to stand there and not cover myself. I had a feeling if I did, this would be over before it began. Besides, it was a dream. I could be bold and feel beautiful in my own mind.

“You’re so goddamn pretty. Always have been.”

His hands cupped my breasts as if testing the weight. They were large and hung, not as perky as the ones I would have liked. He bent as sucked one nipple into his mouth and an electrical shock jolted me to my core.

He seemed to know that as his palm covered my pussy and added pressure to my clit. I was on fire and would have stripped if I wasn’t already naked.

He shook his head as if he was going to stop. Heart thumping in my chest, I latched onto to his head, drawing his mouth down into a demanding kiss.

“Jillian.”

He said my full name as if to keep hold of his composure.

“Please. I want this,” I said with more veracity than I had before.

His gaze burned into mine as if to search for my truthfulness. I wanted to yell we got married, dammit. Why would he deny me now? Then I remembered the cruel dream I was having and willed it to my way.

“Lie down,” he commanded, sounding more like fantasy Eddie.

Talk about alpha male, straight out of an office romance I’d been reading. I stepped back and my thighs hit the bed. Ungracefully, I used my hands to lift myself up and scooted back, all while watching the show.

He’d started unbuttoning his shirt, taking his time with each one as if we had all the time in the world. His eyes, however, never left mine.