I could have been blowing bubbles for all the fish-mouthing I was doing. From a faraway place I heard myself answering, “No,” right before I fled.
Chapter 9
Not five minutes after making it back to the safety of my apartment, did the banging start on my door. Jillian was in the middle of asking what had me pale as a ghost when I glanced around for a place to hide.
“Let me in,” Cam called from the other side of the door.
I ran for the only place I didn’t think he’d look for me. I folded myself in the tiny closet behind coats that weren’t used unless winter hit us in the worst way, which was doubtful in the south.
From my spot, I heard Jillian say, “Hold your horses,” before the door clicked open.
Heavy footsteps clomped inside before he was bellowing out, “Where is she? Where is my wife?”
That title did funny things to my stomach like backflips that could send the meager contents north. I held my hand over my mouth as if that could stop me from throwing up if it came to that.
“Cam,” Jillian reasoned.
“I know she’s here. Her car is outside and I wasn’t five minutes behind her.”
“Cam,” she tried again. “I think you need to give her space.”
“I gave her years of that,” he said, his voice drifting from loud to soft as he investigated room by room. “Did she tell you prom night wasn’t the only time?”
I imagined my sister’s expression as shock sunk in. There were things I hadn’t even told her.
I closed my eyes. It had been hard to avoid Cam when his brother was my best friend. There had always been undeniable attraction on my part. His too I guessed. We’d spent nights talking about our hopes and dreams. It would end up with his lips on mine as I melted in a pool of lust. But I’d always stopped it when it got too far and fled.
“Cam, she has her reasons. You need to respect that.”
His voice was too close when he spoke next. “Fine. But she can’t run anymore. She’s my wife. And we have to talk about this.”
The door seemed to shake the house as it slammed against the frame.
Light poured in the tiny space as Jillian opened the hall closet door.
“Wife?”
I took the hand she offered me and got to my feet as hangers crashed into each other.
“I didn’t remember I swear.”
She nodded. “Got that drunk you blacked out.”
It was my turn to bob my head. “He was flirting with every bridesmaid, it was too hard to watch. I just kept taking shot after shot.”
Jillian too looked hurt that I’d a major secret from her. But I was the older one. I had to set the example for not falling for the wrong guy. I knew that any relationship I’d formed with Cam was destined to fail and thus kept it to myself.
Her eyes narrowed. “So, you got sloppy drunk over watching girls fling themselves at him because we both know neither Cam nor Eddie have to make a move on any girl.”
My dry throat forced me to side step her. “No matter if it was him or them, he didn’t turn anyone away,” I said to the refrigerator as I opened it unable to look her in the eye.
“Why would that be a problem if he’s single?”
I whorled around. “Because he claimed to love me,” I spat out.
“Love?” She pointed to a chair. “Chrissy, you’ve got some ‘xplaining to do.”
I grabbed a bottle of water and marched to the living room like a spoiled child not getting her way. The attitude is more aimed at myself as my little sister was about to lecture me about love. Where had things gone wrong.
Before I could speak, she did. “Let me guess. He’s your mystery guy a few years ago. The one you would never say his name.”
I nodded. “I didn’t want to lie to you. But if I told you, I would spill to Eddie.”
I wouldn’t be chastised about that. Just because she was my sister didn’t mean she was entitled to know everything about my life.
“And Eddie had the no dating my brother rule.” I silently agreed. “I remembered though I never got that.”
There was another confession. “It wasn’t just him. I made him promise not to date you either.” Her jaw dropped. “You never liked him. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
She started and stopped working her jaw before she said, “We’ll talk about that later.” She licked her lips and I knew what she was about to say. “He was the father.”
A sickness I never thought I’d ever get over to hold of my gut. “Yes.”
She nodded as all the pieces clicked into place.
“And he couldn’t come because it was game day.”
I’d been pregnant and hadn’t had the chance to tell Cam because he’d been in his first year as a starter. He’d been so worried about not letting his team down, I didn’t want to tell him until I was sure about what I was going to do. I knew if he found out, he’d want to marry me. I’d feared marriage all my life. Mom had drilled into me about how much Dad had changed after they got married. All the romance he’d put into getting her had ended the day they said I do. I was afraid that if I married Cam things would change between us too.