He Loves Me...He Loves You Not

His hair is messy and he scratches the back of his head then looks at me, confused. “Did I do something wrong?”

As if he doesn’t know. I’m perplexed by the sincerity in his voice. “Shouldn’t you be over Callie’s, talking to her?” My eyes burn into his. I feel like I’m in a coma. How am I ever supposed to recover if he won’t let me?

“Why would I talk to her?”

“Because she’s your girlfriend.”

“No she’s not.”

I scowl. “You’re lying.” The conversation I overheard yesterday sounds off in my head like an over-played song on the radio. “Two guys heard you guys getting it on last night while I was outside.”

A wide range of emotions pass over his features. He clenches his jaw. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t hook up with her. I dumped her; she threw a lamp at my head, and then trashed my room.”

I roll my eyes. “Right.” I’m trying to keep my emotions in check because I don’t know what to believe. “After all that you’ve put me through you expect me to believe that?”

“Believe it because it’s true.” There’s no warmth to his voice. It’s ice cold. “I just threw away a four year relationship for you and you’re acting like a heartless bitch”

My mouth drops open and I shove him. “I thought you didn’t love her! I thought that four year relationship was long gone anyways! What? Did you give a pity screw? One last romp with Henry Garner?”

I’m in his face and he leans down, a cold calculating look on his face. “You’re unbelievable!” His teeth are gritted and he’s breathing heavy.

“No, you’re unbelievable! Coming over here trying to spout all the same pathetic lines that I’ve been falling for months and after last night expecting me to still believe them! You’re the heartless one! How many times have you ripped out my heart and stomped on it? Huh, Henry? How freaking many?” I sound crazy, but I don’t care. “You didn’t even call me to tell me you dumped her. You let me believe that you chose her over me!”

“There’s a damn reason why I didn’t call!”

“And what’s the reason? Come on. Feed me another lie. I’m waiting for it.”

He scowls. “You know what, forget it.” He turns around and walks down the porch steps.

“Forget you!” I shout as he struts down my sidewalk.

“You should be saying that to yourself!” he booms. “Because I already did!”

I watch Henry Garner, the love of my life run down my driveway and his words haunt me. Because I already did.

Then I hit my knees and bury my head in my hands and that’s when my whole world comes crashing down.

Chapter 17

“Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.” ~ St. Augustine ~

I stay in bed for the rest of the weekend with thoughts of Henry’s last words looming in the back of my mind. Because I already did.

How can you forget someone you love just like that? How can you say something like that to someone you love?

Maybe I was being a heartless bitch. Maybe I was too harsh on him. Maybe he was telling the truth.

I’m not sure if he’ll ever talk to me again, so I don’t know if I’ll ever find out the answers.

Rosa calls. I don’t answer. She texts.

Ry, R U ok? I’ve been callin.

I text back.

I’m fine.

The only reason I text her back at all is because I know she won’t leave me alone until I do.