Dear Love, I Hate You (Easton High)

“Because you just can’t, okay?” I blurt as I speed walk. “Not unless you—”

“Unless I mean it?” he finishes.

I swallow hard, willing myself to keep going.

I can still save him—I have to.

“What if I do mean it?” he shouts to my back.

I can’t take another step.

Xavier, on the other hand, has no issue crossing the parking lot to reach me. He’s barely a few steps behind me now, and my brain screams to escape, but it’s as if my feet are embedded into ice blocks.

“What if you’re the only thing that makes sense anymore?” He sounds pained, broken. “What if, when everything went to shit, all I could think about was making sure you were okay?” I hear him step forward but don’t turn around. “What if I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my entire fucking life, Vee?”

I yelp when he grabs my arm and spins me around to face him. He doesn’t waste a single second taking my face into his hands, aligning his gaze with mine as he whispers, “Can I say it then?”

A river of tears pools in my eyes, and anger overrides the warmth welling in my chest. I push him off me and slap him with a strength I didn’t even know I had.

Xav stumbles back in shock, his jaw locked and his cheek a deep shade of red. Guilt and regret crush me, but I still bleat, “I told you not to go there!”

Xavier feels his jaw with a wince.

Then he steps closer, towering over me like I didn’t just swing at him two seconds prior.

“Well, that’s too fucking bad… Because I think I’m—”

“Don’t you dare!” I bark.

“I think I’m falling in love with you, Aveena Harper.”

My mouth falls open.

Instantly, my hand goes flying, but this time, Xav anticipates the slap, snatching my wrist midair and jerking me to his chest without batting an eye. Neither of us move, or speak, for several seconds. We stare at each other in the dark, quiet parking lot like it’s a staring contest.

Then Xavier’s lips rain down on mine.

And I come undone.

No better way to put it.

I fall apart in every way that matters, bombarded with the million emotions I’ve been covering up with anger. Desire, the fear of destroying his shiny little future… Love.

God, I love him.

My childhood bully turned pen pal. The only guy I’ve opened up to since the day I lost my dad. I’m in love with him, and right now, I want to let myself love him.

Dropping the act, I push to my tiptoes and grasp at his branded clothes like a lifeline. I kiss him back with an unmatched intensity, and Xavier groans in satisfaction. I open for him, allowing his tongue to find mine, and slam our bodies together, my hips flush with his. Xav grunts at my clear intentions, looping his hands around the back of my thighs.

He lifts me up into his arms without breaking a sweat. I can feel his length trying to burst out of his pants as he carries me back to the truck, his palms gripping my ass firmly.

I just about gasp when he throws me into the bed of his truck and hoists himself up on top of me. Xavier’s mouth clashes back with mine as soon as he’s got me pinned down under him. He tastes like cherry Jolly Ranchers, bad decisions, and a vulnerability I could spend my whole life trying to outrun.

His fingers curl at the hem of my cropped sweater top, and he stops, disconnecting from me. His fiery gaze fused to mine, he expels a low “Tell me you want this.”

My consent is immediate.

“I want you.” My voice breaks.