Hollow Hearts (The Harkwright Trilogy)

“Thirty-Four, the doctor will see you now,” a nurse says and I climb to my feet, as I ignore the stares and follow the nurse to the office. Only, I don’t quite make it that far.

My eyes lock on Aeron as he leans against a desk in one of the treatment rooms with a nurse dropping to her knees. A smirk graces his lips and bile rises up in my throat and I don’t think as I flip him off and march into the room I was set for. His laugh chases after me but I know he isn’t following it. Why would he when he’s about to get swallowed whole by a nurse in uniform? Un-fucking-believable.

I push the door harder than intended and I jump back as it slams against the wall and my eyes fall on a shocked - and rather confused looking - Cole. Just my luck he would be my doctor today, although really, didn’t I already know this was going to happen?

“Please come in, close the door behind you,” he says, being very professional, almost as though he can’t hear my pulse thumping in my ears.

I do as I’m told and take the seat that he waves his hand at, I swallow hard even though he isn’t looking at me now. Instead he’s looking up at the ceiling and pacing the ground. Yet each time he moves, it seems to bring him closer to me. Why isn’t he sitting down and telling me why I’ve been summoned today?

“I-is e-e-everything okay?”

His eyes meet mine and a strangled laugh escapes him before he drags his hand over his face and deliberately comes closer this time until he’s standing in front of my legs and looking down at me.

“I once said to you that age is just a number and I wasn’t lying Luna, so I need you to believe me when I say this next part,” he pauses and I nod my head at him, unsure if I can really promise such a thing. I don’t even know what he’s going to say.

“Damn it Luna, I want you,” eyebrows meet hairline, your new best friend. On another note, I can’t think of a damn thing to say in response. “Not just because you are beautiful and I hate to admit how goddamn sexy you look in these clothes. No, I want you because I know how much you hate wearing them, how you prefer to go unnoticed and hide how amazing you really are. That all you want from life is to be able to cook the food you want and share it with the world, and that you want your family to be happy and cared for. You don’t want to be rich, you just want to live a good and happy life. No matter what it will cost you to get it, that’s why I want you.”

He’s breathing hard, as though he’s just run a marathon and I’m matching him breath for breath. I’ve fantasized about this moment so many times since I met him and now that it’s happening, I don’t know what to do. There isn’t anything I can do, I’m here and I can’t have him. That realization makes my breathing steady out as ice fills my veins and my heart beats slower.

His hands come down on my arm rests and I fold mine over my stomach, hugging myself as I drop my chin to my chest.

“Look at me Luna, please,” I can hear the desperation bleeding through his voice as I do as he asks, and his mouth is on mine before I can react.

His arms stay on the rests as mine thread through his hair, my legs parting as he steps between them. He drops to his knees, our lips not breaking once as one of his hands brushes across my hip before sliding up until it’s tangled in my hair and all I can do is lose myself in him. Knowing how right this feels, proves how wrong it truly is, but I’m not strong enough to pull away. My breath becomes his and vice versa and if possible, this is the way I want to get my oxygen from here on out.

All too soon he ends the most incredible kiss of my life, resting his forehead against mine. Our eyes are connected and a soft smile is forming on my lips, downplayed by the megawatt one on his.

“Be mine Luna and I’ll wait for you, just say you’ll be mine.”

I’m captured and I don’t want to break away but I can’t say yes, knowing that while he’s waiting for me, I will be here. I won’t be waiting and I will be fucking and exploring whoever calls for me on that day. It isn’t fair to anyone, especially not Cole.

“No,” my words make his eyes seem watery, but he doesn’t pull away and I carry on. “I don’t expect you to wait three years for me Cole, I know you have needs,” my cheeks are aflame and I can’t stop my eyes from dropping to the floor.

His hand comes beneath my chin and he lifts my head up so I’m looking at him, it’s reminiscent of the past and it hurts to remember it.

“Luna I’m twenty-eight and I won’t lie and say I’ve been a saint this entire time. I’ve had my fair share of casual hookups and the odd relationship thrown in and it didn’t mean a thing. I’m ready for something real and I don’t think it can get anymore real than you. Three years is nothing if it means that I get to be with you at the end of it.”

His voice is gutting me and it’s making it so much harder, because I don’t want to argue with him over this. I want him to be mine and I hate how selfish that makes me.

“You’ll be okay, waiting knowing that I’m in here. Being used by whichever guy decides he wants a go at me. Knowing that I’ll be opening my mouth and my…” his hand presses against my mouth and I stop talking.

“I know what goes down in here and I know what… could happen with you. I know it and I still choose you, I just don’t want to hear about it. Denial will be my best friend for the next three years and at least I can still see you, we won’t have to be apart for the duration.”

“Are you sure?” I ask and he nods his head as I push to my feet, slide my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and capture his mouth with mine.

I pull back sooner than I’d like but words are needed here, “I want to be yours Cole, just give me some time.”

His smile is hopeful as a sound registers and he springs away before dropping behind his desk and picking up a file, I’m so confused until the door opens and Aeron walks in. Bastard.

“What do you need Aeron?” he asks, with more disdain than I was expecting and my mouth pops open. Although I flinch when Aeron places his fingers beneath my chin and closes my mouth for me.

I don’t miss the way Cole narrows his eyes at the action, but Aeron isn’t looking at him, luckily. My eyes look into Aeron’s and the stupid smirk spreading across his perfect face.

“I’ve just come to let you know that Luna is not required to have the rod yet, so she comes with me.”

&nbs

p; “What are you talking about? Regardless of the rules of this damn place, the well-being of these girls is always my first priority. You know what Sir will do if she winds up pregnant and we both know the majority of you won’t think to cover up,” he snaps out, his fists clenching on the desk as the file falls discarded on the floor.