You Never Knew Me (Never 1)

Ivy is her usual self but Noah is quieter than normal, at least in my opinion. I’ve also been distracted by these weird emails that I’m still refusing to open. I could ask Noah for his advice and usually I would, but it seems like he’s got enough on his plate.

As usual I arrange to meet everyone in the canteen for lunch and go in search of Mattias, he’s shocked that I’m coming to him, but he lets me in his room and listens as I explain about the emails.

“PastFinder. That’s strange, you’ve done the right thing not opening them in case it is a virus. But if you want to know for sure, I can access them remotely from here and we can see what they are saying.”

“Yes please, oh Matt you are my favourite person this year,” I say which makes him laugh and he gets to work.

I sit waiting, as patiently as I can while browsing his collection of comics and anime. He’s typing away and I haven’t even brought my phone with me to play on, well done coming prepared Henleigh.

“Umm Henleigh, how many people have you told about Elliott?” He sounds concerned and it has me rising to my feet instantly.

I hurry straight to his computer, but the email isn’t from PastFinder, it’s from one of the ones I keep sending to spam.

“That’s the wrong one,” I say, clearly stating the obvious. I’m feeling thoroughly confused right now.

“I know, but you need to see this. There are loads of them Henleigh and they’re pretty nasty. I’m actually thinking we should get the guys in here before you read them. I wouldn’t feel right hugging you, not for too long.” I’m making him embarrassed and I haven’t even done anything.

His cheeks are so red, it’s adorable. I’m not sure I want all the guys here and I hate admitting it, but I think I need Noah. Mattias nods and I think he agrees I’ve made the best choice. Elijah will try and make me laugh and Amias will want to punch people but Noah, will let me deal and he’ll just be here for me.

I'm a little worried he won’t come but I needn’t have worried. As soon as Mattias calls him he’s on his way, these really are the best guys, if only I deserved them.

Five minutes and he’s bursting through the door, I think he’s run here. He pulls up short when he sees I’m okay and he looks so confused.

“I said she might not be okay in a minute, I didn’t say charge through the door like you have a rocket lodged up your jacksie,” Mattias is shaking his head as he says it and then he opens the email for me to read.

Poor little Henleigh

It must be so hard living without your brother, I bet he was your best friend, maybe your only friend. You’ll never find another, maybe you should do the only thing that will ever make you feel whole again. To feel that emptiness inside, check your locker, I’ve left you a surprise.

R.I.P E.M

“That was sent today, but you’ve been getting them for weeks.” His tone is full of pity and my pain is threatening to bury me in a black hole of despair.

My heart has stopped beating, I can’t breathe and I’m almost hyperventilating. This email is worse than the first. I can feel Noah’s hand on my back. “It’s okay, breath in deeply through your nose and out through your mouth. I’m here Leighbear,” he says softly, but his words are barely registering. I can’t believe it, who would be sick enough to do that?

Henleigh,

You never talk about me, have you forgotten all about your big brother. Am I really that easy to forget, how cold must your heart be that you don’t even utter my name. I’m so disappointed in you, you’re killing me all over again. I don’t know how I could forgive you for this, I’ve been so alone, only the thought of you brought me any peace and now I don’t even have that.

I need my little sister, please Sis if you ever loved me. Don’t leave me alone, join me.

That one is sent from ElliottsGhost. A picture is attached that must have been taken from an online account he had when he was still alive. He’s in a group and I can see all of my brothers, by blood and spirit looking back at me. But Elliott isn’t, seeing as his eyes have been photoshopped and now they are nothing more than black orbs.

I fall to my knees. To send me an email addressed from my dead brother is beyond sick and I can’t cope with it. I can feel the bile rising in my throat and I lurch up, just making it to Matthias’s bathroom before I completely lose my shit.

I hear Noah entering the room and I don’t want anyone to see me like this, but he scoops up my hair and keeps it away from my face. The gesture means more than any amount of words ever could.

“Is she okay.”

“No, but she will be. Can you divert the messages so she doesn’t have to see them. I don’t want them gone, just away from her.” Noah sounds so commanding, but I can’t enjoy it.

“There’s more,” he replies hesitantly.

“Not right now there isn’t, she can’t handle anymore. We’ll deal with the rest later,” says Noah, and Mattias leaves the room and gets to work. But I’ll never unsee the evil that has been sent in the first place.

Ten minutes later, I’m just resting on the tiled floor and staring up at the ceiling without seeing anything.

“Do you want me to take you back to your room, I’ll take care of the teachers,” he says, smiling gently but it all feels so hollow.