You Never Knew Me (Never 1)

The next email is from PastFinder and Mattias looks uncomfortable.

“I know what it says but Noah doesn’t, I haven’t told anyone else,” he really stresses that part before he opens it and I begin to read once more.

I know what you did and soon so will every student in residence at Padstow Academy. You may think you got away with it, but I

won’t rest until you pay for your crimes. She suffers because of you, her life is over because of what you did. Did you know she was set to be the next lead in the swan lake ballet, but your poor judgement robbed her of that chance.

Get ready Henleigh Monterey, I’m about to rip apart your life. Let’s see how many friends you have standing by your side when they find out the truth of who you really are.

For RS.

Crap, crap and double crap. This cannot be happening, I was planning on telling everyone eventually but I’m scared that PastFinder is right. What if they can’t handle the truth about me, and shit Mattias has read these emails what if he knows?

I can’t breathe, there is not enough air in this room. Mattias is patting me on the back but it’s not helping, he knows, and he’ll tell Noah.

“Henleigh calm down.” Shit on a cracker, Mattias is shouting at me.

“I don’t know what you’ve done but you won’t lose everyone, I guarantee whatever happens Noah at least will still be here for you.” He sounds so sure, like it’s a well-known fact and I’m clinging onto this lifeline with all my might.

“What about the others?” The desperation is clear in my voice, I don’t want to lose any of them.

“I can’t speak for others, but I have a feeling Amias won’t change his opinion on you easily.”

“It’s not just the guys, Bella and Roxie I adore those girls. I mean I adore all of them, but I’ve spent more time with those two and you. I know we don’t exactly hang out but I still consider you a friend, I want to keep you all.” I’m selfish and I won’t pretend otherwise, I have never claimed to be perfect but I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t want to be hurt either. Please, just let me keep them.

“Maybe you should let them hear it from you instead, maybe tell one person and see how they react and then you can go from there. Just not me, that’s too much pressure,” he says waving his hands in front of him.

“Thank you, Matti,” I say as I give him a kiss on the cheek, and he goes brighter than Rudolph’s nose.

A week has already passed since I read that email from PastFinder and nothing had been revealed yet, but I know it will. We have a week off coming up soon and I’ve made it clear that I’m staying back again.

Amias is actually spending it with his parents, but he’s convinced they’ll cancel on him at the last minute and Ivy is going off with her mysterious travel buddy again.

I’m not sure what the others are doing but I’ve decided I’m going to use this week off to tell someone my secret. If they can’t handle it then clearly, they can’t handle me, but I hope that isn’t the case.

I open my bedroom door to Elijah pinning a footie poster to my door, I don’t even like football.

“What are you doing?” I ask, putting a hand on my hip.

“Nothing, I just thought your door could do with being livened up a little.

His smile is too wide and he can’t look at me directly, well only one way to find out what is going on. I grab onto the poster and rip it off the door and I wish I hadn’t, those bitches are going to pay.

I grab my bag and I’m storming off down the hall with Elijah chasing after me.

“Henleigh, stop. Please you don’t even know if it was them.” Wrong thing to say Eli.

I pull my phone out and log onto the cameras and it’s clear to see that Octavia and Britney are standing at my door. Doing a spot of redecorating and it’s fucking sick.

Perfect bloody timing, putting my phone away and looking up; I can see them congregated around the lockers, laughing and joking.

“Henleigh stop,” Elijah shouts and the girls look up in perfect sync, it would be impressively creepy if I wasn’t so angry.

I grab hold of Octavia and Britney at the back of their heads before sending them into one another. Their little sheep are screaming and trying to pull me away but I don’t care. If the school expels me for this, I’m going to make sure I enjoy every second of it.

Britney sends her fist into my stomach which knocks the wind out of me, while Octavia kicks my knee out.

It doesn’t take long for me to get back up and I leap back in, the sheep are clawing at my face and pulling my hair, and I’m swinging at whoever gets in my way.