You Were Never Honest (Never 2)

“How about we discover what kind of noises you can make,” I say with a waggle of my brows as I push him onto his back.

“What are you doing Hen?” he asks, sounding nervous.

“There’s something I’d like to try,” I reply as I kiss down his chest while my hands work on his belt.

I give my first blow job that night and he jumps at the chance to return the favour. We discover what each other likes and when he eventually lines himself up with me and slowly pushes inside, another piece of my heart clicks into place. Elijah is mine, I can never let him go.

I can’t believe Mattias found Rebecca’s address and her phone number, I want to ring her but I’m being selfish. She may not want to speak to me, she more than likely hates my guts after what I did. So, I’ll give her the option, I just need to figure out what I should put in the text.

Hi, this is Henleigh Monterey. I don’t know why I’m doing this or what I hope to gain from it, but I was hoping that maybe you would give me the chance to speak to you. I understand if you completely ignore this and I promise I won’t bother you again. I know there isn’t a thing I can do to make this right, but maybe I can explain what caused my actions that night. No excuses, just an explanation. I truly am sorry Rebecca and I will never forgive myself for what I took from you and I never expect forgiveness from you either.

I don’t know why I’ve done this, I could be making things worse for her and me. But that’s why I sent the text isn’t it? So she had the choice to ignore me if she needs or wants it, okay deep breaths. This was the right thing to do, I think.

Right, time to go to the library. I’ll be a little early but I’m so far ahead with my English that I’ve been given a pass so I can study for my exams. What can I say, I love English.

Browsing the shelves of the latest Rh books, they are becoming a fascination of mine, I can’t help but hear an exchange. I don’t usually eavesdrop but I’m sure I heard Ivy and Harrison, no that can’t be right.

“Come on Harry, you need to put a stop to this. She doesn’t deserve the pain you're causing her.”

“Yeah because you’re so innocent in everything that happened, besides you were all for punishing her you even handed me all the little tidbits that I couldn’t get myself!”

I move as close as I can until I find a gap in a shelf and I can take them in. Ivy looks agitated as she drags her fingers through her short hair, making it spike on top. Whilst Harrison just looks pissed off if his glaring is anything to go by.

“I know, but I was wrong. Henleigh isn’t a fake, she’s probably the most genuine person in this school. I only became friends with her because you told me to and now, I don’t want to lose it. You are honestly telling me she’s still the enemy in your eyes, can’t you see how wrong you are, how wrong we both were?” Ivy asks and I can’t pull myself away, I know what they’ve done but I don’t want to believe it.

Her eyes are begging him to see things her way and when she takes his hand, he pulls away as though her touch burns.

“I don’t know what to think anymore, and it’s beyond frustrating. No I don’t think she’s this selfish monster who’s only out for herself, she proved that when she went out of her way to make me feel normal but I can’t forgive her for what she’s done.”

It feels like they should be screaming and shouting at one another, how can they convey so much emotion and angst in nothing more than whispers.

“She visited you while you were in your coma, did you know that? That secret girlfriend that you couldn’t explain to your folks, that was her. I don’t know why she did it, she never told any of us but I saw her. I was at your bedside and I saw as she walked away. She doesn’t even know it was me but I could recognise her a mile away, why would she have done that?”

His eyes widen at her words and he pales slightly, his hand is flat against his face, resting gently over his bottom lip and the entirety of his chin.

“That’s why her nickname sounds so familiar and why it slipped from her so easily, for crying out loud,” he gets louder towards the end before throwing a book across the aisle.

“Just stop it, don’t release the files when the countdown ends. Better yet, just remove it now and be done with it. Do you really want to hurt her still?” she asks and all I want to know is why they were doing this.

“I can’t stop it Ivy, even if I wanted to, there's no way to end it now.”

“Forget that, do you want to?”

“Yeah, but then I think about Rebecca and I can’t stop hating her Ivy. She broke my sister, how can I ever be okay with her for that? Besides you sent her those emails when I was in the coma, so you must understand where I’m coming from.”

Oh... Harrison is Rebecca’s brother, no wonder he was cruel.

“Of course I do, I love her too, I love both of you but I can’t be a part of this anymore. You’re my family and I’ll always love you, but if you keep hurting her then I’ll never forgive you. And I won’t forgive myself for the part I played either. Stop being PastFinder, besides her reply clearly affected you otherwise you wouldn’t have sought me out today. See you around Harry and please, see how wrong this is and fix it. It’s one thing revealing her secret, but do you have to do theirs as well?”

She gives him one last look before she sadly shakes her head and walks away, and he leaves in the opposite direction.

I don’t move until I know they’ve gone, what do I do now? Is there anyone in my life who hasn’t lied to me? My own brother, Amias and now Ivy. Well her sudden change of heart about me finally makes sense, and even though I can understand why someone may do this, I can’t condone it. It’s one thing getting revenge, but they’ve gone too far. I am so confused right now and I still have to tutor Harrison, should I tell him that I know?

I walk into our study room and he’s already at our table, with the books laid out.

“Hey, I thought I’d make a start. You were right, I am going to try harder with the English.” He doesn’t lift his head up from the book, I guess it must be really interesting.

He’s so, unaffected. It doesn’t match with what I just saw and only his eyes confirm it wasn’t all in my imagination. He can’t stop staring at me, as though I’m some kind of puzzle and he’s desperately searching for the missing pieces.