You’ll Never Have Me (Never 3)

“Answer it,” he says darkly and I don’t understand the tone but I do as he says nonetheless. Is it wrong that his voice is doing things to me that I don’t dare think about?

“Noah,” it comes out more breathy than I had intended and I hear his sigh of relief when he hears my voice.

“Leighbear, I didn’t think you’d answer,” he says in a broken voice and it makes a tear slide down my face.

“I didn’t know if I would, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” I ask softly, well aware that Harrison is listening to every word I say.

“Nothing is okay, nothing has been okay since you said goodbye,” he says with a sarcastic laugh before sighing deeply, “I got my results back, there wasn’t anyone else I wanted to share the news with, but you.”

I sit up straight, I don’t know what to say. He has the results and he wants me to know what they are.

“Is it good news, are they negative?” I ask, my tone hopeful and gentle.

“They are, I haven’t got Huntington’s. Mum and dad are so relieved, well dad is…” he trails off and I do not understand what he means, but I know it isn’t good.

“What’s going on Noah?” I don’t have much of a right to ask, but I’m still hoping he’ll tell me.

“It doesn’t matter, you’ve got your own stuff to deal with. At least, I imagine you do. You can still talk to me you know Henleigh, I wouldn’t repeat anything you say if you didn’t want me to,” he’s so sincere but I can’t. Not after what I’ve dragged H into it, I won’t do the same to Noah.

“I know you wouldn’t, but there’s nothing to say. I’ve got to go, but I’m so happy

for you. You get to live a long and happy life,” I try to instil as much happiness as I can, but I don’t know how successful I am.

“It would be even happier if you were in it, stay safe Henleigh and if you ever need anything,” he pauses for a moment. I guess he’s trying to find the right words, “anything at all, you only ever have to ask. I won’t even question it, moronic I know I just...miss you. I want to know you’re safe,” the pain in his voice makes it hard for me to say anything so I don’t.

I do the cowardly thing and hang up before leaning my head against the window and let my tears fall unbidden. I hear H open his door and then I’m falling sideways as he opens mine, leans over me to release my seatbelt and then lifts me into his arms.

I keep my head turned away as he places me into the passenger seat, moves back to the driving seat and starts up the car.

“Is it worth shutting them out if it hurts you this much?” He asks, his tone gruff as he pulls back out onto the road.

“I’ve already fucked your life up, I won’t do the same to them. They’re worth all the pain it causes me,” I say, it comes out broken and disjointed. I wonder if he understood any of what I just said?

“I get it, you make me glad I’ve never been in love,” he says it like it means nothing, but I can hear the lie and jealousy in his voice. He wants someone to love and to love him back just as much.

WE GET BACK to our room and I send a quick email to Roxie, not only to apologise for disappearing on her but also to ask her for a favour. Well, to ask Declan for a favour.

Henleigh motherfucking Monterey,

Are you shitting me right now. I am not doing a single thing for you until you explain yourself, you hear me baby girl. Not a damn thing.

Roxie

How should I handle this? Screw it, I can trust her and she already knows. It’s not like I’m telling her where I am so maybe she’ll still be safe.

Dante wasn’t messing around, he cut my brakes and I think he tried to burn my house down while I was in it. If that’s not bad enough, he saw me with Harrison so now he’s got a target on his head as well.

I don’t want anything to happen to you Rox, please you have to stay away from me. I shouldn’t have messaged but I need to know how he was seeing us when the curtains were drawn. If Declan has any idea I would really appreciate it, I love you boo xxx

“Stop panicking, no one knows where we are. Just chill out,” H says, as he comes in from the bathroom. Thankfully dressed this time.

“How did he see us Harrison? I’m guessing a camera, but how did he get it inside my house and why? This is messing with my head, how the fuck do you expect me to chill out,” I’m starting to shout as everything comes to a boil and unleashes in a flurry of panic and anger.

“Woman you are driving me crazy, I can’t talk to you while you’re like this,” he says, sounding utterly irritated by me.

“Thanks for the sympathy,” I cannot stop shouting at him, I really hope no one is in the room next to us right now.

“I don’t do sympathy or pity love, you want that go and call one of your boyfriends,” his voice is rising as well and there seems to be a lot of heat behind it. We’re both stressed but why do we have to take it out on each other? Because there isn’t anyone else, simple as that.