You’ll Never Have Me (Never 3)

“Hey, are you okay?” I ask softly, taking a seat beside him and I’m trying my hardest to make it so he can’t avoid my stare.

“I’m fine, just wondering how much longer this can last,” he replies darkly and I don’t know what he’s talking about.

“You want to stop running or you just don’t want to be stuck with me any longer,” sure I’m hazarding a couple of guesses but what else am I supposed to think? I’m not a bloody mind reader.

“I mean escaping, he keeps finding us Henleigh and I mean what I said, you should sing tomorrow. It might be the last time you get to do something fun for a while. You’ve already had to give up the guys you love and be stuck with me, why should you have to sacrifice this opportunity as well?” He’s looking at me and I feel like a fish out of water with the way my mouth keeps opening and closing.

He brings his head closer, not once taking his eyes off mine but he’s not kissing me. Instead our noses brush before he pulls away and lies down, with his back to me. I don’t think I’m ever going to understand him.

TWELVE

WAKING UP, encased in Harrison’s arms shouldn’t feel as good as it does and it’s stupid, but I don’t want to move. If I do, he’ll wake up and pull away from him as though I’m toxic to touch. I’ll keep fighting whatever it is I feel for him, because he doesn’t know, no one does. I can’t see myself surviving all this bullshit, if the truth does bury me alive then Dante will surely make sure something does. He wants me dead and I don’t know what I have left to fight for, my guys or guy seeing as Elijah is doing god knows what and Amias is as trustworthy as a vulture when you’re close to death. I only really have Noah, but I don’t have him. In my heart it’s an entirely different matter to reality and it’s hard to face that along with everything else.

The sound of Harrison’s light moaning as he draws me closer makes my mouth feel like it’s made of cotton wool and my entire being is awakening at the sound.

“Woman,” he mumbles as his face nuzzles my neck, until he wakes up a little more and moves fast enough to cause himself whiplash, that’s the Harrison I know. Am I really that abhorrent to you, hmm? His dream self doesn’t seem to think so, unless he thinks I’m someone else.

“What are you doing here?” He growls out and my mouth his hanging open as I take in Noah, standing in the doorway.

His mouth is pulled down in a slight frown, but he smiles weakly as our eyes meet. I can’t let him walk away, not now and certainly not like this. Do something Henleigh, for crying out loud.

I should try out for the pole vault if I live through this, with how flawlessly I leap from the bed and make it to him. He’s staring at me and I can’t think, as I lose myself in the cool waters of his eyes. If this is what drowning feels like, I never want to come up for air. I’d gladly do it for the rest of my days.

“You’re here,” my hand is brushing across his face, I guess I need to validate that he isn’t an impressive mirage.

He places his hand over mine, as he lowers his face and glides his lips across mine, effortless and oh so toe curling. I don’t pull away, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.

I can feel Harrison push past us, I feel guilty for a split second but I forget all about it. Noah’s fingers curl in my hair and he tilts my head back to deepen the kiss further. I can’t think, speak or move.

I’m groaning so loud as he pulls away and takes a healthy step back, I have no idea what to think. Is he going to tell me it was a mistake? Because that is going to slay me.

“Are you and Harrison...together?” I can’t detect a hint of judgement in his tone, he just wants to know.

“No, but we’re close I guess. As close as two people who apparently hate each other can be, he helps keep the nightmares away,” he doesn’t need to know that I keep H’s away as well. I’ll take that secret with me to the cold, dank grave.

“I love you Henleigh and I’d share you with just about anyone it seems, if it means I get you too.”

“I love you, but I can’t be with you. I won’t bring you into my fucked up world, I can’t risk anything happening to you. I will not be selfish with this, I’ve already got Harrison in the firing line I won’t do that to you,” my eyes are filling with tears as I clutch onto his shirt and silently beg him to let this go.

“Come on, time for breakfast,” he says and I don’t think things could get any more awkward than they are right now. I just want him to be happy, why is it making me feel so miserable though? Because I want him to be mine.

HARRISON ISN’T TALKING to me, even going as far to leave the room whenever I enter. Noah is his usual, smiling self which is making my heart hurt but I don’t think it’s real. It can’t be, everyone is on edge apart from Bella and that’s only because Matti has arrived and they are unbelievably cute together.

I hope he can help me, I can’t handle being isolated any longer. I need to know just who Dante is, and how he always seems to be one step ahead.

“Henleigh,” Matti says with a smile on his face as I pull him into a quick hug and smile back.

I don’t know how it’s happening but everyone is leaving the room, I don’t think they’ve gone entirely. More than likely at least one of them will list

en in, but it’s not bothering me. This won’t put anyone in danger, at least I hope it won’t.

“What’s wrong? Bella said you need my help,” he sounds so confused by the prospect that I would ask for help.

“Someone is following me and I don’t know how he’s doing it. I’ve stopped using my car, I’m having to pay by cash since he emptied my bank account and neither Harrison or I book a place or ticket in our real names. I keep changing my number and I’ve even got a new phone but he’s always there,” my heart is thumping like the bass in a club song. My breathing is becoming more frantic and my chest is so tight that I feel like I’m stuck in a vice.

“I can look into it, but Noah may be your best bet. Look, Henleigh, I like you and I’m happy to help but why don’t you ask him?” Okay now his confusion makes more sense.

“Noah is too close, if he figures it out he may do something or tell... someone and it will cause a world of problems. Please Matti, you’re the only one I can ask,” I’m begging and I don’t care, his agreement is almost making me weep with relief.