You’ll Never Have Me (Never 3)

“If I asked you not to leave, would you consider it?” he asks, his smile still in place but his tone is full of melancholy.

“Of course I would, but I can’t change my answer. If I could promise you this isn’t forever, then I would in a heartbeat, but we have no idea what’s in store for us,” I say quietly and I can’t meet his eyes.

“Henleigh, what are you planning?” His tone is a mixture of w

orry and his eyes are opening in shock as if he’s just had a huge wake up call.

Well blow me, has he figured something out?

“You know, we’ve all been wondering why you would push me away out of all of us. Sure I never told you what they were keeping from you, but it wasn’t my secret to tell and I didn’t even know about Amias’ until after he took that beating. Anyway, I couldn’t figure out why you would do it. If you wanted me gone that’s fine, I could understand it but I know that isn’t the case,” he’s growing more animated as he speaks and there isn’t a hint of doubt anywhere to be found. “No, you’re planning something and I get the feeling that it may not end well. Please tell me you haven’t figured out who caused Elliott’s death. I know you want to go after them, but you can’t,” his voice is growing louder and more frantic as his panic for me sets in.

“Eli, I haven’t figured it out okay. I’m still in the dark regarding the whole bloody thing, but you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do,” I say, narrowing my eyes and jutting my chin out stubbornly.

“I mean, on your own. Stop being so pig headed and distracting me. If you haven’t figured it out, then what are you scared of, because I can see it in your eyes. Something has you running scared and for some reason, it’s making you run further and further away from the people who love you.” He gets to his feet and starts pacing the length of the bed. This is what I was trying to avoid, on top of everything else.

“I can’t Eli, please don’t make this any harder than it already is,” I’m begging and his eyes are clouding over.

“If I don’t say this Henleigh, I know I’ll regret it, I love you,” he takes my hands in his and this sudden change is throwing me for a loop, “but I can only take so much. If you keep on pushing, I’ll stop pushing back. You need help and if you won’t accept it from me, please take it from someone. I don’t want anything to happen to you and if you stop being stubborn, I’m only a call away,” he says and there’s this sense of finality in the air.

I look at him and see the future I could have. It would be beautiful and filled with joy and laughter. I can’t look at him any longer as I rush into the bathroom to get dressed, but when I come back out, he’s gone. All that’s left is a letter, one that I cannot open. All I can do is add it to Elliott’s and let it burn a hole through my glove box.

THREE

I CAN HARDLY BREATHE and it only gets worse as I make it to my car and find a message written on my windscreen, all it says is ‘backseat.’ It comes off easily enough but I’m petrified to look in my car, is there someone in there or I don’t know, a bomb. Okay, clearly I am overreacting. I just need to take a deep breath and tackle this head on. Please do not let anyone be hiding back there.

Here goes nothing, I pull open the door and find a phone lying on my backseat. Okay, was the message really necessary for this.

Screw this I’m not getting drawn into more mind games, throwing my bag on the backseat next to the phone I climb into my car and I’m off. Only things don’t go according to plan, I seem to be getting really lucky with the lights, hitting green after green until one turns red. I push down on the break and it goes all the way to the floor, no resistance. My brakes don’t work!

Shit, it’s my only thought as I run the light and try to ignore the blaring of car horns, and then I’m going head first into a wall. I’m just glad I wasn’t going too fast and aside from hitting my head on the steering wheel, I think I just had a lucky escape.

It doesn’t take long for the gavvers and paramedics to arrive, they take my statement and check me over and I can tell they don’t believe me when I say my brakes weren’t working. I’ve proved I’m not under the influence of anything, but they are still assuming I must be at fault somehow. I can’t wait for them to choke on their accusations, but I’ve had enough. They’ve offered to give me a lift back to Roxie’s but I’d rather get a taxi after the way they’ve been treating me. The only thing I am relieved about is the fact I managed to grab my letters from El and Eli before I left my car.

“Miss, you left your phone in the back,” a youngish cop says as he passes me the phone that had been placed in my car and it’s ringing.

I’m smiling politely as I put the phone to my ear and walk far enough away so I won’t be overheard.

“Hello?” It’s a question, posed as a greeting. What more can I say?

“You should get your car serviced pretty girl, the car brakes can really save your life,” the tone is smug but it’s lacking. It sounds...fake, like the emotion is being forced to come through.

“Thanks for the tip, but they were working fine this morning,” I say, sure I’m lying but he doesn’t need to know that.

“Lies are so unbecoming don’t you think, unless you were driving something of a different kind. But what could you have been driving up in that hotel room you shared with Elijah.” I’ve stopped moving and my breathing is becoming more shallow, is he following me? Or has he got someone to do that for him?

“Who are you and what do you want from me?” I ask, trying to instil strength within my words but I can hear the tremble and I doubt he misses it.

“Didn’t you get my letter, I’m Dante and I’m your judge, jury and executioner,” he laughs this evil kind of sound and it makes me feel sick with dread.

“Sorry, I guess I didn’t get it. Try again later,” I shoot back, letting my anger and frustration unleash upon him.

“Did you have a name for me, before you knew it?” his tone is low, almost gentle.

“I don’t know who you are!” I shout and freeze when I notice how many people are staring at me. I duck my head and turn a corner and my feet may as well be made of lead when I see Mr. Terrifying.

“Do you know me now?” He says through the phone, while his eyes drill through me. His tone is vitriolic but even from here I can still see how empty his eyes truly are.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask softly, fear overriding all my senses and my fight or flight has abandoned me, as I’m left frozen.